Thursday, February 19, 2009
I Think I Figured It Out
I may have figured out why I'm so sad about leaving. It isn't just leaving behind a good job and great people and a cute trainer at the gym and good food and all the other nice stuff about my life here. It's more the fact that I've finally gotten really settled here, and now I have to leave. I know that back in November I felt like a real Singaporean because I had a bank and a commute and a library card and my favorite stalls at the hawker centers. But for so long it was all about new experiences and not having any patterns, more about trying new things than enjoying them, or meeting new people rather than getting to know them. And I traveled a bit in December, and Stan visited, and it really wasn't until late January that I think I really felt at home. In fact, there was a point in Saigon where I felt like I was ready to go home, to go back to my comfort zone there, but it's possible that was just because Saigon was so different and I was traveling there on my own.
But now I REALLY feel integrated into the community. I stop by a couple shops along the street on my way home from work and chat with the owners. I usually meet up with Ed and his friends on Wednesdays and once over the weekend. I'm getting to see Derek on a few Saturdays. I try to see Joshua during the week. Weekends are free for spontaneity, especially when Jasen gets to come back from military training. I've realized I can't see everyone all the time so I've found the folks I'm most comfortable with, maybe have the most in common with, and try to see them the most. Still see other folks, just not as often. Still meeting new friends (hi, Kian!) but basically, I have a regular life now, and I like it, and now that I finally have settled into something a little more relaxed and feel like I know what I'm doing and I'm really happy...it's time to go.
Of course there are good people back home (hello Stan! hi Adrian! hey ET!) so I'm happy to be going back for that reason. There are some events coming up, like Stan and I racing in an 8K run the weekend I get back and visiting San Francisco in the spring, and me going to Chicago for a conference, and Adrian taking me out for a birthday dinner. And I'll get settled back into some good routines at home soon...it won't take me as long to adjust as it took here.
But man, I'm gonna miss living in Singapore. At least now I (think I) know why.
But now I REALLY feel integrated into the community. I stop by a couple shops along the street on my way home from work and chat with the owners. I usually meet up with Ed and his friends on Wednesdays and once over the weekend. I'm getting to see Derek on a few Saturdays. I try to see Joshua during the week. Weekends are free for spontaneity, especially when Jasen gets to come back from military training. I've realized I can't see everyone all the time so I've found the folks I'm most comfortable with, maybe have the most in common with, and try to see them the most. Still see other folks, just not as often. Still meeting new friends (hi, Kian!) but basically, I have a regular life now, and I like it, and now that I finally have settled into something a little more relaxed and feel like I know what I'm doing and I'm really happy...it's time to go.
Of course there are good people back home (hello Stan! hi Adrian! hey ET!) so I'm happy to be going back for that reason. There are some events coming up, like Stan and I racing in an 8K run the weekend I get back and visiting San Francisco in the spring, and me going to Chicago for a conference, and Adrian taking me out for a birthday dinner. And I'll get settled back into some good routines at home soon...it won't take me as long to adjust as it took here.
But man, I'm gonna miss living in Singapore. At least now I (think I) know why.
Labels: Living in SG
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