Sunday, November 22, 2009
A New York Weekend
I had a nice weekend in New York. A little photography, a little clubbing, a little shopping, and visits to both Uniqlo and Topman, which are like a combination of clubbing and shopping. I took the bus up and back (I’m actually on the bus headed home as I write this) and I remember now why I’m not a fan of this type of travel. It just takes too long. The train is faster, and more reliable. Unfortunately, it also costs 5x as much, so I need to occasionally take the bus on these trips.
Today was spent kicking around with Scott. He found a place for brunch that had this wonderful invention called “unlimited mimosas.” The waitress seemed to come by every time the level in our glasses dropped an inch, and she finally reached the point where she quit pouring orange juice and just went with straight champagne. When our glasses hit empty I figured they were dropping a hint. Anyway, we had a great few hours hanging out, we’ve known each other for almost 10 years (yes, Scott, it HAS been that long), having first met through our blogs when he was in college, and we can talk about pretty much anything. It’s nice to have a friend like that. Plus, he let me take photos of him, but only if I promised not to put them on Facebook (so they’ll go on Xtube instead).
I needed this weekend. Though I think I enjoy these visits more when I come with someone, I do occasionally need a weekend on my own. The nice thing about New York -- really, about traveling anywhere -- is that I can reinvent myself for a weekend if I need to, put aside whatever has been bugging me and just be me, or be the person I (temporarily) want to be. This weekend I needed to put aside work, put away some personal issues that have been dogging me for a couple months, and just walk around and be a fun guy without worrying about anything.
This doesn’t mean I’ll return to work Monday happy to be there, but it does mean I’ll go back with some good memories.
The weekend wasn’t perfect...there was more I wanted to do, but the truth is, I arrived Friday night pretty exhausted already. Between stress from work and not getting enough sleep I think I have worn myself out. Add in some clubbing Friday night until 3am,and walking around lower Manhattan all day Saturday, and by Saturday night I was one tired boy. Next time, I’ll try to rest up in advance for my vacation.
Overall, though, it was what I needed. Plus, I got some Christmas shopping done, and that was the most important thing!!
Today was spent kicking around with Scott. He found a place for brunch that had this wonderful invention called “unlimited mimosas.” The waitress seemed to come by every time the level in our glasses dropped an inch, and she finally reached the point where she quit pouring orange juice and just went with straight champagne. When our glasses hit empty I figured they were dropping a hint. Anyway, we had a great few hours hanging out, we’ve known each other for almost 10 years (yes, Scott, it HAS been that long), having first met through our blogs when he was in college, and we can talk about pretty much anything. It’s nice to have a friend like that. Plus, he let me take photos of him, but only if I promised not to put them on Facebook (so they’ll go on Xtube instead).
I needed this weekend. Though I think I enjoy these visits more when I come with someone, I do occasionally need a weekend on my own. The nice thing about New York -- really, about traveling anywhere -- is that I can reinvent myself for a weekend if I need to, put aside whatever has been bugging me and just be me, or be the person I (temporarily) want to be. This weekend I needed to put aside work, put away some personal issues that have been dogging me for a couple months, and just walk around and be a fun guy without worrying about anything.
This doesn’t mean I’ll return to work Monday happy to be there, but it does mean I’ll go back with some good memories.
The weekend wasn’t perfect...there was more I wanted to do, but the truth is, I arrived Friday night pretty exhausted already. Between stress from work and not getting enough sleep I think I have worn myself out. Add in some clubbing Friday night until 3am,and walking around lower Manhattan all day Saturday, and by Saturday night I was one tired boy. Next time, I’ll try to rest up in advance for my vacation.
Overall, though, it was what I needed. Plus, I got some Christmas shopping done, and that was the most important thing!!
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Age is Just a Number
People often tell me I don't seem as old as I am. Some are talking about looks, some are talking about attitude, but all of them are right. I definitely don't feel as old as I am, and while I can remember what my parents were like at this age, I don't think I'm anything like them.
But I've come to realize that this can work in the opposite direction as well. Some of my younger friends seem "older" than their ages. I put "older" in quotes (imagine me doing that thing with my fingers while talking) because they don't look older, and they don't really act a certain age. They just seem closer to my place in life than do other people of the same biological age. It's not even really about maturity...it seems like it's more about life experience.
This occurred to me today at a friend's birthday dim sum. We were talking about a mutual acquaintance (we'll call him A) that I was hanging out with recently. My friend asked me, "would you ever think of you two getting together?" I'm going to assume he was talking about dating rather than about a hookup, and my answer, pretty quickly, was no. I said that A -- though he is a thoroughly sweet guy and incredibly nice, and someone whom I love spending time with -- is just a bit too hyper and unfocused for me. Naturally, on the drive home, I thought a bit more about it.
Now, A is 23, and yes, that's a bit younger than I, and we'd also been talking about another guy (we'll call him B) who's 21 and a bit immature. But I thought, "it can't be the age." Let's think about it. Stan was 23 when we started dating last year, and we made for a pretty good pair of boyfriends. Linh is 24 now, and he and I are very close friends. What is it about these guys that sets them apart?
I really think it's a combination of all their experiences, which give them a certain perspective on life that's very different from those of some other guys their age. They've traveled, and spent time living in a foreign country. They're educated, with a strong desire to keep learning. They have an idea of what they want to do in life. They've both worked in jobs that have an important purpose behind them. It's not just that they've "grown up" (which sounds patronizing anyway), it's that they have life experiences comparable to mine. They may have more experience in some things, less in others, but the basic frameworks of our lives have enough similarity that we can understand and appreciate each other in a way that helps us create a close bond. The fact that they're 25 or 24 years old doesn't matter...since age is just a number.
If you ask me why I tend to be around younger people more than older ones, it's because there's something else I share with these guys that many people my age seem to have lost: self-discovery and a desire for new experiences. Something I realized back in my early 30s, when I started grad school, was that many of my age peers had stopped trying new things. They were settled into a routine and didn't want anything new. That's fine for them, because they're happy, but that made it tough for me to be around them, because I wasn't content to stop discovering (and I'm still not). They were too much like I remember my parents being at that age. And so I tended to be around younger people (actually, being in school made that an easy thing to do). That's something that has continued to this day.
So yeah, it's really not the numerical age that matters...it's the person, whether younger or older.
I'm very lucky to have the friends I do, both at home and overseas, because they fit me so well and make my life so much more fun and enjoyable. I don't mind getting older if I get to grow older with them.
But I've come to realize that this can work in the opposite direction as well. Some of my younger friends seem "older" than their ages. I put "older" in quotes (imagine me doing that thing with my fingers while talking) because they don't look older, and they don't really act a certain age. They just seem closer to my place in life than do other people of the same biological age. It's not even really about maturity...it seems like it's more about life experience.
This occurred to me today at a friend's birthday dim sum. We were talking about a mutual acquaintance (we'll call him A) that I was hanging out with recently. My friend asked me, "would you ever think of you two getting together?" I'm going to assume he was talking about dating rather than about a hookup, and my answer, pretty quickly, was no. I said that A -- though he is a thoroughly sweet guy and incredibly nice, and someone whom I love spending time with -- is just a bit too hyper and unfocused for me. Naturally, on the drive home, I thought a bit more about it.
Now, A is 23, and yes, that's a bit younger than I, and we'd also been talking about another guy (we'll call him B) who's 21 and a bit immature. But I thought, "it can't be the age." Let's think about it. Stan was 23 when we started dating last year, and we made for a pretty good pair of boyfriends. Linh is 24 now, and he and I are very close friends. What is it about these guys that sets them apart?
I really think it's a combination of all their experiences, which give them a certain perspective on life that's very different from those of some other guys their age. They've traveled, and spent time living in a foreign country. They're educated, with a strong desire to keep learning. They have an idea of what they want to do in life. They've both worked in jobs that have an important purpose behind them. It's not just that they've "grown up" (which sounds patronizing anyway), it's that they have life experiences comparable to mine. They may have more experience in some things, less in others, but the basic frameworks of our lives have enough similarity that we can understand and appreciate each other in a way that helps us create a close bond. The fact that they're 25 or 24 years old doesn't matter...since age is just a number.
If you ask me why I tend to be around younger people more than older ones, it's because there's something else I share with these guys that many people my age seem to have lost: self-discovery and a desire for new experiences. Something I realized back in my early 30s, when I started grad school, was that many of my age peers had stopped trying new things. They were settled into a routine and didn't want anything new. That's fine for them, because they're happy, but that made it tough for me to be around them, because I wasn't content to stop discovering (and I'm still not). They were too much like I remember my parents being at that age. And so I tended to be around younger people (actually, being in school made that an easy thing to do). That's something that has continued to this day.
So yeah, it's really not the numerical age that matters...it's the person, whether younger or older.
I'm very lucky to have the friends I do, both at home and overseas, because they fit me so well and make my life so much more fun and enjoyable. I don't mind getting older if I get to grow older with them.
