Sunday, May 31, 2009
A Good Trip
We got back from San Francisco Wednesday night after a wonderful trip. Stan got to see the town where he was born...it's changed a bit since then (well, so has he!). He also got to see a couple of his university friends, one of whom I got to meet, and that was so cool, since every time I meet people from his past I get to know him better. (not to mention all the stories I get!)
We got to the Asian Art Museum, which is a very cool place I've visited before. We also went to the Cartoon Art Museum, which had an exhibit on "Watchmen." We went to Chinatown and also checked out manga and yaoi in Japantown. And yeah, we spent a little time in the Castro.
We went out and tried different bars and clubs each night. Friday we were at Badlands, Saturday the underwear party at Space550, Sunday we tried Q Bar, Monday was PowerHouse (Stan wasn't sure what he was getting into!) and then bailed out and headed to Martuni's, and Tuesday we tried Midnight Sun, which was more to Stan's taste.
We were in town Tuesday when the California Supreme Court ruled that the ban on gay marriage, which voters passed last year, was legal. While we were disappointed, the ruling was kind of understandable given the weak legal basis for the court case. We talked to a few people there who are involved in trying to get the law changed, and they seem to have learned from the mistakes of last year's election and will try to fix all of this in the 2010 elections. Hope so.
Overall, a very fun trip. Since Stan is leaving this summer we're trying to enjoy these few months, and we're off to a pretty good start.
We got to the Asian Art Museum, which is a very cool place I've visited before. We also went to the Cartoon Art Museum, which had an exhibit on "Watchmen." We went to Chinatown and also checked out manga and yaoi in Japantown. And yeah, we spent a little time in the Castro.
We went out and tried different bars and clubs each night. Friday we were at Badlands, Saturday the underwear party at Space550, Sunday we tried Q Bar, Monday was PowerHouse (Stan wasn't sure what he was getting into!) and then bailed out and headed to Martuni's, and Tuesday we tried Midnight Sun, which was more to Stan's taste.
We were in town Tuesday when the California Supreme Court ruled that the ban on gay marriage, which voters passed last year, was legal. While we were disappointed, the ruling was kind of understandable given the weak legal basis for the court case. We talked to a few people there who are involved in trying to get the law changed, and they seem to have learned from the mistakes of last year's election and will try to fix all of this in the 2010 elections. Hope so.
Overall, a very fun trip. Since Stan is leaving this summer we're trying to enjoy these few months, and we're off to a pretty good start.
Labels: Relationships, Travel
Monday, May 25, 2009
San Francisco Boys
Stan and I have been in San Francisco since Friday, and loving it. The weather's a bit chiller than we're used to at home, but that's just a good excuse to go shopping for warmer clothes. :P Friday night we fought off the jet lag to hit a club called Badlands, and Saturday Stan remembered an underwear party he'd seen an ad for...much more fun than we expected, plenty of cute guys and all of them hitting on Stan (and no, we don't have photos, so don't ask!).
We spent Sunday with a friend of Stan's from his days at Chinese University of Hong King, and today' he's having lunch wth his university roommate, who lives about an hour away. Tomorrow we're hitting some art museums, and then Wednesday we'll fly home. Not a bad little trip. :-)
We spent Sunday with a friend of Stan's from his days at Chinese University of Hong King, and today' he's having lunch wth his university roommate, who lives about an hour away. Tomorrow we're hitting some art museums, and then Wednesday we'll fly home. Not a bad little trip. :-)
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Graduation Day
Not mine (that was 7 years ago), and not Stan's (that's in 2 years), but Linh's. And I am SO proud of him!!
Linh is from Vietnam but his last 7 years of school have been in the US -- senior year of high school 4 years of undergrad, and 2 years her in DC for grad school. I'm always impressed by anyone who goes overseas and studies in a non-native language. Fortunately, his region of study was Southeast Asia, so at least he knew the geography.
Over the last 2 years I've read pretty much every paper he's written. The idea was for me to help with his English but it always led to great discussions where I learned a lot. Having something of a "mentoring" relationship with him has added a lot to our friendship, and helped me feel like a teacher again, a feeling I love. I saw his work improve over time, which is what you hope for in school. He really gained a lot from this education.
We met soon after he started school here, courtesy of Fridae. I'm glad he suggested meeting up; at the time, Adrian and I were in our "let's see if we can fix this" phase so I wasn't trying hard to meet people locally. As soon as we met I knew this would be a fun person to know. I can honestly say that, after Stan leaves for school at the end of the summer, Linh is one of the few reasons I have to stay in DC. I appreciate his friendship a lot and wish him all the good fortune he deserves in his future.
Congrats, babe.
Linh is from Vietnam but his last 7 years of school have been in the US -- senior year of high school 4 years of undergrad, and 2 years her in DC for grad school. I'm always impressed by anyone who goes overseas and studies in a non-native language. Fortunately, his region of study was Southeast Asia, so at least he knew the geography.
Over the last 2 years I've read pretty much every paper he's written. The idea was for me to help with his English but it always led to great discussions where I learned a lot. Having something of a "mentoring" relationship with him has added a lot to our friendship, and helped me feel like a teacher again, a feeling I love. I saw his work improve over time, which is what you hope for in school. He really gained a lot from this education.
We met soon after he started school here, courtesy of Fridae. I'm glad he suggested meeting up; at the time, Adrian and I were in our "let's see if we can fix this" phase so I wasn't trying hard to meet people locally. As soon as we met I knew this would be a fun person to know. I can honestly say that, after Stan leaves for school at the end of the summer, Linh is one of the few reasons I have to stay in DC. I appreciate his friendship a lot and wish him all the good fortune he deserves in his future.
Congrats, babe.
Labels: Friends
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Dragonboat Weekend
In response to Derek's comment on Facebook: oh yeah, I dragonboat!
Well, once a year, anyway. :P
I'm on a team called Out2Paddle, and we compete each year in the Washington DC Dragonboat Festival. The team comes from a group called AQUA, which stands for Asian/Pacific Islander Queers United for Action, and yes, I'm a member (don't forget, I'm Asian on the inside). AQUA has a couple interesting goals: to raise the visibility of Asians in the LGBT community, and to raise the visibility of LGBTs in the Asian community. After four years of doing this, we can safely say that awareness has been raised.
In the past our group has been known the fun we have, the warmups we do, the cheers we yell, and our drummer who wears a tiara. We've done well in the competition -- two years ago we got gold medals in one of the lower divisions, and last year (my first) we took a silver and a bronze -- but we wanted to do better. This was our comeback year. And after this year, we're known, and respected, for our ability as well as our fun.
Yeah, we kicked ass. The video below shows us winning the 250m gold medal on Saturday (we're in the yellow boat, and yes, it was a photo finish -- we won by a second).
The pic below shows us, in the green boat, about to win the gold in the 500m race by 3 seconds, against a group that has talked a little trash in the past. But not anymore.
Based on our time trials and our performance in the semifinals, we moved up to the top division both days, the Open "A" Major division. Even though we won golds two years ago, those were in lower, slower divisions. This year, we proved we can race with the best AND WIN!!!!!!
Stan had a friend down from Philadelphia racing on anther team and he said we should come up for a big festival in October. Hmmmmm...take this show on the road? We just might.
I should add that our team included one Singaporean and one Malaysian, both working in the US. And one of the best things about dragonboat was meeting some new friends, people I look forward to hanging out with in the summer to come.
Ladies and gents, I give you the 2009 Washington DC Dragonboat Festival double gold medalists and #1 totally fabulous team:
Well, once a year, anyway. :P
I'm on a team called Out2Paddle, and we compete each year in the Washington DC Dragonboat Festival. The team comes from a group called AQUA, which stands for Asian/Pacific Islander Queers United for Action, and yes, I'm a member (don't forget, I'm Asian on the inside). AQUA has a couple interesting goals: to raise the visibility of Asians in the LGBT community, and to raise the visibility of LGBTs in the Asian community. After four years of doing this, we can safely say that awareness has been raised.
In the past our group has been known the fun we have, the warmups we do, the cheers we yell, and our drummer who wears a tiara. We've done well in the competition -- two years ago we got gold medals in one of the lower divisions, and last year (my first) we took a silver and a bronze -- but we wanted to do better. This was our comeback year. And after this year, we're known, and respected, for our ability as well as our fun.
Yeah, we kicked ass. The video below shows us winning the 250m gold medal on Saturday (we're in the yellow boat, and yes, it was a photo finish -- we won by a second).
The pic below shows us, in the green boat, about to win the gold in the 500m race by 3 seconds, against a group that has talked a little trash in the past. But not anymore.
Based on our time trials and our performance in the semifinals, we moved up to the top division both days, the Open "A" Major division. Even though we won golds two years ago, those were in lower, slower divisions. This year, we proved we can race with the best AND WIN!!!!!!
Stan had a friend down from Philadelphia racing on anther team and he said we should come up for a big festival in October. Hmmmmm...take this show on the road? We just might.
I should add that our team included one Singaporean and one Malaysian, both working in the US. And one of the best things about dragonboat was meeting some new friends, people I look forward to hanging out with in the summer to come.
Ladies and gents, I give you the 2009 Washington DC Dragonboat Festival double gold medalists and #1 totally fabulous team:
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Moving On Out
Adrian told me last night that he's planning to buy a house this summer. That means we'll be making arrangements to get him off the deed to this condo. And now, nearly 3 years after breaking up with me, he'll be moving out.
A lot of people would think it's strange that my ex and I still live together. Frankly, I'm one of those people. But since he is an owner, there was no way to force him out. And of course, a few months after breaking up with me, he said he wanted to try to get back together. But after more than a year of trying on my part, he didn't seem to be putting any effort into it (at least, that's MY perspective) and so last year I told him this obviously wasn't going to work, and after a couple more months he finally seemed to accept that. It was OK having him here after that, because I knew I'd be going away to Singapore and I wanted someone living here, but after an incident last year I knew we could never, ever get back together, and so after my time in Singapore I was ready for him to go. Sounds like he's reached the same conclusion, though in his case he says it's because he wants to take advantage of the low home prices and low interest rates resulting from the current economic situation.
The truth is, these last few years have been pretty bad from my perspective. I've felt like I've been manipulated and taken advantage of, though I also believe that no one gets taken advantage of unless they're willing to get taken advantage of. As a result of that, I've lost a lot of self-respect during these last few years, and I'm hoping to regain it. This move on his part is an important step for him, but also for me as I try to get my life back on track. I appreciate the new people I've met during this time and I will keep them with me, and of course my old friends are still there too, but the truth is, I have some starting over of my own to do. Whether that will happen here in Washington DC or elsewhere remains to be seen.
A lot of people would think it's strange that my ex and I still live together. Frankly, I'm one of those people. But since he is an owner, there was no way to force him out. And of course, a few months after breaking up with me, he said he wanted to try to get back together. But after more than a year of trying on my part, he didn't seem to be putting any effort into it (at least, that's MY perspective) and so last year I told him this obviously wasn't going to work, and after a couple more months he finally seemed to accept that. It was OK having him here after that, because I knew I'd be going away to Singapore and I wanted someone living here, but after an incident last year I knew we could never, ever get back together, and so after my time in Singapore I was ready for him to go. Sounds like he's reached the same conclusion, though in his case he says it's because he wants to take advantage of the low home prices and low interest rates resulting from the current economic situation.
The truth is, these last few years have been pretty bad from my perspective. I've felt like I've been manipulated and taken advantage of, though I also believe that no one gets taken advantage of unless they're willing to get taken advantage of. As a result of that, I've lost a lot of self-respect during these last few years, and I'm hoping to regain it. This move on his part is an important step for him, but also for me as I try to get my life back on track. I appreciate the new people I've met during this time and I will keep them with me, and of course my old friends are still there too, but the truth is, I have some starting over of my own to do. Whether that will happen here in Washington DC or elsewhere remains to be seen.
Labels: Relationships
Monday, May 11, 2009
Quiet Weekend
I need to sleep more during the week so I'm not tired on the weekends.
Stan and I started the weekend on Thursday with the premiere of Star Trek in an IMAX theater. It was Stan's first exposure to Star Trek and he enjoyed it. I, of course, was hard the entire time, because I am a Star Trek geek from waaaaayyyyyyy back. I'd warned him that there would be times where people would cheer and clap and he wouldn't understand why, but he should take notes and I'd catch him up later. And that worked out just fine.
Stan decided he liked Kirk more than Spock, so he got Trekified as Kirk.
Anyway, the movie was great, so of course I saw it again Sunday night with my friend Kim. Once I knew what the ending was I wanted to go back and find all the foreshadowing. And Kim is moving at the end of the month so it was a good excuse to do something with him.
Sunday was our last dragon boat practice before next week's festival. We're even better this year than last, I think.
Missing a few people but still looking strong
Not our best synchronization, but it was the end of practice and we were tired
But other than that, and going to the grocery store twice so we could find the cute Hispanic guy that Stan spotted working there last week, it was pretty quiet.
Stan and I started the weekend on Thursday with the premiere of Star Trek in an IMAX theater. It was Stan's first exposure to Star Trek and he enjoyed it. I, of course, was hard the entire time, because I am a Star Trek geek from waaaaayyyyyyy back. I'd warned him that there would be times where people would cheer and clap and he wouldn't understand why, but he should take notes and I'd catch him up later. And that worked out just fine.
Stan decided he liked Kirk more than Spock, so he got Trekified as Kirk.
Anyway, the movie was great, so of course I saw it again Sunday night with my friend Kim. Once I knew what the ending was I wanted to go back and find all the foreshadowing. And Kim is moving at the end of the month so it was a good excuse to do something with him.
Sunday was our last dragon boat practice before next week's festival. We're even better this year than last, I think.
But other than that, and going to the grocery store twice so we could find the cute Hispanic guy that Stan spotted working there last week, it was pretty quiet.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
And Finally, It's Back
After a month of downtime, it's time to get back up and running. An explanation:
I've always drawn a thick line between my professional life and my personal life. A few months ago a woman got to know me professionally, and I didn't realize she was becoming obsessed with me. She lives a thousand miles away but was here visiting family last month and asked to meet for lunch. We did, it was fine (we went to the same secondary school, though at different times, and have mutual friends, so that's the link between us), and I thought no more of it. She, however, asked me to get together a couple more times, and I declined, thinking that this was getting a bit odd. After she returned home, she spent a few hours one night searching online for stuff about me, and through a weird series of events that linked from my professional Facebook to my professional blog to a twitter account to a friend's Twitter account t and to his blog, she found my personal blog. And spent the next 6 hours reading up on the last three years of my life. (according to my site stats)
Not only did this pose a risk to my career, it also highlighted the fact that even though I'd been careful during the almost 9 years my blog has been up (and almost 10 years for the website), the protections I'd taken neglected to account for emerging technologies like Facebook and Twitter. I'd made it easier to connect the dots and find me, not just for her, but for anyone who might be looking for info about me.
So, I had to take down my website and my blog, and try to erase about 10 years of online presence from various search engine caches and web directories. It pisses me off, because in addition to all my personal history that was reflected online (so many things have happened in all this time), I also had stuff up there to help queer youth and others trying to find their way in this world, and that's all down now (though I'm finding a way to get it all back up without any connection to me).
Another change, of course, is this blog, which will now be maintained on Blogger rather than resting on my regular domain. By hosting it on Blogger I can control access to it, which still sucks (I prefer open access) but if I'm going to have pix and talk about things going on with friends, I need to limit it to people I know, or friends of friends, or basically just to people who wish me no harm.
The URL, by the way, is based on something William and Janvier call me. It works.
The website will be back up and running, and I encourage people to keep checking that out. Also, I'll try to do a better job with this blog than I have in the last few months...focus on shorter, to-the-point entries rather than long tales, so at least I'll post stories rather than putting it off and putting it off. I love writing, and this is a good opportunity to express myself...my professional blog lets me write one way but this one lets me write from the heart (and other body parts).
What sucked the most about all of this was that my blog has been the means for meeting many great friends, such as Scooter in NYC, Azhan from Penang, the KL BFFs (plus Derek in SG, my favorite hybrid :P), and many others. Knowing those friends has opened many new opportunities for me (I doubt I would have done my academic exchange to SG without knowing all these guys first), so it pains me to have to go through these changes. Losing that means of meeting people easily is a great loss to me.
But anyway...I'm back, baby!!!!!
I've always drawn a thick line between my professional life and my personal life. A few months ago a woman got to know me professionally, and I didn't realize she was becoming obsessed with me. She lives a thousand miles away but was here visiting family last month and asked to meet for lunch. We did, it was fine (we went to the same secondary school, though at different times, and have mutual friends, so that's the link between us), and I thought no more of it. She, however, asked me to get together a couple more times, and I declined, thinking that this was getting a bit odd. After she returned home, she spent a few hours one night searching online for stuff about me, and through a weird series of events that linked from my professional Facebook to my professional blog to a twitter account to a friend's Twitter account t and to his blog, she found my personal blog. And spent the next 6 hours reading up on the last three years of my life. (according to my site stats)
Not only did this pose a risk to my career, it also highlighted the fact that even though I'd been careful during the almost 9 years my blog has been up (and almost 10 years for the website), the protections I'd taken neglected to account for emerging technologies like Facebook and Twitter. I'd made it easier to connect the dots and find me, not just for her, but for anyone who might be looking for info about me.
So, I had to take down my website and my blog, and try to erase about 10 years of online presence from various search engine caches and web directories. It pisses me off, because in addition to all my personal history that was reflected online (so many things have happened in all this time), I also had stuff up there to help queer youth and others trying to find their way in this world, and that's all down now (though I'm finding a way to get it all back up without any connection to me).
Another change, of course, is this blog, which will now be maintained on Blogger rather than resting on my regular domain. By hosting it on Blogger I can control access to it, which still sucks (I prefer open access) but if I'm going to have pix and talk about things going on with friends, I need to limit it to people I know, or friends of friends, or basically just to people who wish me no harm.
The URL, by the way, is based on something William and Janvier call me. It works.
The website will be back up and running, and I encourage people to keep checking that out. Also, I'll try to do a better job with this blog than I have in the last few months...focus on shorter, to-the-point entries rather than long tales, so at least I'll post stories rather than putting it off and putting it off. I love writing, and this is a good opportunity to express myself...my professional blog lets me write one way but this one lets me write from the heart (and other body parts).
What sucked the most about all of this was that my blog has been the means for meeting many great friends, such as Scooter in NYC, Azhan from Penang, the KL BFFs (plus Derek in SG, my favorite hybrid :P), and many others. Knowing those friends has opened many new opportunities for me (I doubt I would have done my academic exchange to SG without knowing all these guys first), so it pains me to have to go through these changes. Losing that means of meeting people easily is a great loss to me.
But anyway...I'm back, baby!!!!!
Labels: Blogging, Friends, Life, Website, Work
