Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Moving On Out
Adrian told me last night that he's planning to buy a house this summer. That means we'll be making arrangements to get him off the deed to this condo. And now, nearly 3 years after breaking up with me, he'll be moving out.
A lot of people would think it's strange that my ex and I still live together. Frankly, I'm one of those people. But since he is an owner, there was no way to force him out. And of course, a few months after breaking up with me, he said he wanted to try to get back together. But after more than a year of trying on my part, he didn't seem to be putting any effort into it (at least, that's MY perspective) and so last year I told him this obviously wasn't going to work, and after a couple more months he finally seemed to accept that. It was OK having him here after that, because I knew I'd be going away to Singapore and I wanted someone living here, but after an incident last year I knew we could never, ever get back together, and so after my time in Singapore I was ready for him to go. Sounds like he's reached the same conclusion, though in his case he says it's because he wants to take advantage of the low home prices and low interest rates resulting from the current economic situation.
The truth is, these last few years have been pretty bad from my perspective. I've felt like I've been manipulated and taken advantage of, though I also believe that no one gets taken advantage of unless they're willing to get taken advantage of. As a result of that, I've lost a lot of self-respect during these last few years, and I'm hoping to regain it. This move on his part is an important step for him, but also for me as I try to get my life back on track. I appreciate the new people I've met during this time and I will keep them with me, and of course my old friends are still there too, but the truth is, I have some starting over of my own to do. Whether that will happen here in Washington DC or elsewhere remains to be seen.
A lot of people would think it's strange that my ex and I still live together. Frankly, I'm one of those people. But since he is an owner, there was no way to force him out. And of course, a few months after breaking up with me, he said he wanted to try to get back together. But after more than a year of trying on my part, he didn't seem to be putting any effort into it (at least, that's MY perspective) and so last year I told him this obviously wasn't going to work, and after a couple more months he finally seemed to accept that. It was OK having him here after that, because I knew I'd be going away to Singapore and I wanted someone living here, but after an incident last year I knew we could never, ever get back together, and so after my time in Singapore I was ready for him to go. Sounds like he's reached the same conclusion, though in his case he says it's because he wants to take advantage of the low home prices and low interest rates resulting from the current economic situation.
The truth is, these last few years have been pretty bad from my perspective. I've felt like I've been manipulated and taken advantage of, though I also believe that no one gets taken advantage of unless they're willing to get taken advantage of. As a result of that, I've lost a lot of self-respect during these last few years, and I'm hoping to regain it. This move on his part is an important step for him, but also for me as I try to get my life back on track. I appreciate the new people I've met during this time and I will keep them with me, and of course my old friends are still there too, but the truth is, I have some starting over of my own to do. Whether that will happen here in Washington DC or elsewhere remains to be seen.
Labels: Relationships
