Singapore/KL Bangkok Stuttgart Washington DC Toronto Colorado Springs San Francisco

I'm writing this in the United Club at Newark Airport, having completed the first (and by far the shortest!) leg of my trip. I'm on my way to a new life in Singapore.

Wow.

OK, maybe not a "new" life, since my life has been one of constantly moving to new places. But when I look at where I was a year ago, and where I am today, things are a lot different, thats for sure. And when compared to two years ago, well, I don't even recognize my life.

But opportunities arose in Singapore, both personally and professionally, and my teaching at Georgetown wasn't quite as much fun as I thought it would be, so I decided to jump on this chance. The job sounds like exactly what I'd like to be doing on my own someday, so this is a great chance to do it while someone else is paying the bills and get some good experience. And as for the personal side, well, there's a guy named Ben whom I met three years ago, and we've long wondered what could happen if we lived in the same city, so we're about to find out. So I'm going to jump on THAT opportunity as well. :-)

My sadness in leaving DC is countered by the excitement of trying something really new. One reason i chose Singapore for my Fulbright a few years ago was that it gave me the chance to "test drive" a city where I might want to live someday. Looks like it's all working out as planned, even though i didn't know what the plan was all along.

Here we go!!!!

Labels: Life, Living in SG, Relationships, Work

His name is Ben.

Ben lives in Singapore, and we met briefly two years ago when I lived there for a few months. He's a friend of Linh's, who was the one who suggested we should meet, and unfortunately I saw him for a grand total of about 15 seconds on that first meeting. We didn't see each other again before I returned to the US, but we stayed in touch via e-mail.

Six months later I visited Singapore and Ben and I had a couple opportunities to spend some time together. He's a great conversationalist, an overall charmer, and deliciously cute. I had a great time with him and we stayed in closer touch after I left.

Fast forward to March 2010: I am in Bangkok for massage school and want to take a weekend in Phuket, which I've never visited before. I ask Ben if he'd like to fly up and join me, and he does. We have a great weekend being pampered at the resort, playing on the beach, buying street food in town, and learning about Glee (well, I was learning from Ben, who's a huge Gleek). It was a very fun weekend and I'm happy we did it.

Over New Year's this year I visited Singapore for a couple weeks, and Ben and I spent about half that time together. We talked a lot about opportunities and possibilities, and we came to realize that the growing feelings we had for each other are mutual. Those conversations increased in their openness after I returned to DC, and we realized that we would really like to know what might be possible if we to start dating...but of course, we live on opposite sides of the world.

So anyway, that's why I'm now applying for jobs in Singapore.

Labels: Living in SG, Relationships, Travel

Stan's farewell from DC got stretched out over a week. Last weekend we had his farewell party at my place with about 20 people. They turned out to all be people he met since we first met in October 2007, mutual friends all. Though he had other friends in Washington, some had moved away, and others had just sort of faded from sight in the last few months. So, the folks we had were the fun people. :-)

The party went well and much fun was had. I ended up not making the food myself but either buying it, or in a couple cases counting on friends who like to make food. During the run up to the weekend I was trying to get the condo together, as I've been reorganizing the place since Adrian moved out, and he still has stuff there so I needed to work around that. I was also trying to get Stan's going away gift: I created a photo book of pictures taken since we met, including pics from our travels as well as here at home. I finished it, but it didn't arrive from the printer in time for the party.

The party was on Sunday afternoon; I like to plan parties then because no one ever makes plans for Sunday afternoon. I was stressed leading up to it because I really wanted Stan to enjoy it and for everyone to have fun. Fortunately, Linh volunteered to arrange for the cake and then come help me set up, and in the process helped me calm down a bit. Ethan offered to make spring rolls (though he thought the party started at 4 rather than at 2...oops) and Tuan went to the Vietnamese deli for me to pick up an order (and it turned out the place I ordered from wasn't the place I thought it was, but he figured it out).

We had folks over until about 6, and everyone seemed to have a good time. I've noticed at my parties that there's some self-segregation...the people who've known me longer tend to hang out together, the people I've meet since moving back in '06 are in another group. Interesting.

So after that I relaxed a bit, then started thinking about the next weekend. Stan was packing all week and I was working, plus there was the minor issue of Thursday's colonoscopy, but we had plans. Friday night our friend Kevin took us out and we went to a new place (well, new to us) that served Cajun-style food. We called it a night after that because I was running 13 miles the next day and Stan had plenty to do to clear out of his apartment.

Then, Saturday night, we had a small group of friends over for dinner. I have been looking for an excuse to cook again (Adrian kind of took over the fancy dinner party cooking when we were together) and this was a good chance to bring some of our closest friends together. The menu didn't turn out quite like I expected, as some of the ingredients weren't available, but I mostly made it work out. The entree took longer to prepare than I expected but everyone was patient. Afterwards, we headed out to Town, where Stan had a chance to say goodbye to a few other folks. We were pretty beat by the end of the night -- it was a crazy busy day -- but we loved it.

Sunday was pretty chill. We had a great brunch at our favorite place, then took care of things around home, like packing for our trip (well, MY packing...Stan was ready to go). After dinner I told Stan to put on his shoes, we were going for a drive. We ended up at the end of the runway at National Airport, watching as the planes landed over our heads. Back before we started dating I'd thought it would be romantic to take Stan there, but before I ever did he mentioned that someone at work had talked about doing that and Stan thought that sounded like a pretty cheap date. So, I never took him...but I decided we needed to do that befoe he leaves. With the cheesy mmusic playing on the radio, it turned out to be pretty romantic...in my opinion, anyway.

Though the farewell seems stretched out, it's all going to come to a sudden stop next Friday in Denver. We'll see how it all goes.

Labels: Friends, Relationships

The week started out nicely with time spent with friends. Friday night I set a new personal record for Distance Parked From The Bar (8 blocks) and Time Spent Looking For A Parking Space (1 hour). Stan heard words come out of my mouth he'd never heard before. But we had a nice time out with friends.

Saturday I helped my friend Kim get packed up as he set out for Chicago. Sorry to see him go. That night Stan and I saw Terminator Salvation, and while it had some interesting moments, it was mostly "eh." But we had ice cream afterwards so yay for that.

Sunday was a day spent downtown. Linh met us for a couple hours and we enjoyed a nice day.

The bulk of the week has been spent on housework, getting travel details together for me and Stan to go to Denver next month (househunting for him) and working on some photo projects. Stan and I went to see Up in 3D and that was very fun, much better than Terminator. And we had pancakes for dinner, so once again, yay for that.

The weekend will be a slow one because I'm headed to my folks' place Saturday for a visit. Since I've been home 3 months and haven't been to see them yet I'm in danger of being dropped out of the will, so I better get down there. Stan is also visiting his parents back home, so we timed our visits right.

It may not sound like an exciting week, but I've enjoyed it. :-)

Labels: Friends, Life, Relationships

We got back from San Francisco Wednesday night after a wonderful trip. Stan got to see the town where he was born...it's changed a bit since then (well, so has he!). He also got to see a couple of his university friends, one of whom I got to meet, and that was so cool, since every time I meet people from his past I get to know him better. (not to mention all the stories I get!)

We got to the Asian Art Museum, which is a very cool place I've visited before. We also went to the Cartoon Art Museum, which had an exhibit on "Watchmen." We went to Chinatown and also checked out manga and yaoi in Japantown. And yeah, we spent a little time in the Castro.

We went out and tried different bars and clubs each night. Friday we were at Badlands, Saturday the underwear party at Space550, Sunday we tried Q Bar, Monday was PowerHouse (Stan wasn't sure what he was getting into!) and then bailed out and headed to Martuni's, and Tuesday we tried Midnight Sun, which was more to Stan's taste.

We were in town Tuesday when the California Supreme Court ruled that the ban on gay marriage, which voters passed last year, was legal. While we were disappointed, the ruling was kind of understandable given the weak legal basis for the court case. We talked to a few people there who are involved in trying to get the law changed, and they seem to have learned from the mistakes of last year's election and will try to fix all of this in the 2010 elections. Hope so.

Overall, a very fun trip. Since Stan is leaving this summer we're trying to enjoy these few months, and we're off to a pretty good start.

Labels: Relationships, Travel

Adrian told me last night that he's planning to buy a house this summer. That means we'll be making arrangements to get him off the deed to this condo. And now, nearly 3 years after breaking up with me, he'll be moving out.

A lot of people would think it's strange that my ex and I still live together. Frankly, I'm one of those people. But since he is an owner, there was no way to force him out. And of course, a few months after breaking up with me, he said he wanted to try to get back together. But after more than a year of trying on my part, he didn't seem to be putting any effort into it (at least, that's MY perspective) and so last year I told him this obviously wasn't going to work, and after a couple more months he finally seemed to accept that. It was OK having him here after that, because I knew I'd be going away to Singapore and I wanted someone living here, but after an incident last year I knew we could never, ever get back together, and so after my time in Singapore I was ready for him to go. Sounds like he's reached the same conclusion, though in his case he says it's because he wants to take advantage of the low home prices and low interest rates resulting from the current economic situation.

The truth is, these last few years have been pretty bad from my perspective. I've felt like I've been manipulated and taken advantage of, though I also believe that no one gets taken advantage of unless they're willing to get taken advantage of. As a result of that, I've lost a lot of self-respect during these last few years, and I'm hoping to regain it. This move on his part is an important step for him, but also for me as I try to get my life back on track. I appreciate the new people I've met during this time and I will keep them with me, and of course my old friends are still there too, but the truth is, I have some starting over of my own to do. Whether that will happen here in Washington DC or elsewhere remains to be seen.

Labels: Relationships

Aaaaaaaaannnnddd it only took 12 days.

What can I say? It's been a busy 12 days.

I'll try to catch up a bit.

OK, well, Stan's trip here was a good one (from my perspective, anyway, and from his too I think). We returned from Penang on December 30th and had a couple mild adventures around town that evening. Wednesday the 31st was our day to catch up on any place he wanted to go but hadn't visited yet, but unfortunately the design Museum was closed. However, we made it to the Urban Redevelopment Authority for their exhibit on the master plan for Singapore, because we are both geeks who are intrigued by city planning. While we realize that no plan ever works out exactly as written, we were just impressed that Singapore actually HAS a plan for the next 50 years, which I don't think most US cities have. The exhibit was very impressive, though we both got the sense that it was a little overly optimistic, with lots of pictures of how beautiful things are going to be, a sense of urban beauty that I haven't yet seen here. I hope they stick to it closely, this is already a pretty nice place and it would be cool if it improved even more.

Anyway, with our nerd genes satisfied, we went to the Asian Civilizations Museum, and we wished we had more time there because the 2 1/2 - 3 hours we spent there weren't enough. Very interesting, and I'll be back again. We saw flyers for a New Year's Eve party there that night hosted by a radio station, so we made plans to return after a nice dinner in Little India (Stan is a big fan). At the Little India restaurant we decided that the whole "don't tip because service charge is included" thing might not always be the best idea, as we waited 30 minutes, and asked 3 times, for our bill, and we're pretty sure someone whose income depended on the quality of their service might have made a little more effort. But we made it to the New Year's festivities, saw some very impressive fireworks, and started the year off right.

On the 1st we met up with my friend Jasen for lunch, which was very nice as I wanted him and Stan to meet. We headed to a dim sum place down the street and somehow got in past a HUGE line of people (still not sure how that worked). Stan handled himself well with the mandarin that he knows (he's primarily a Cantonese speaker) and we had a great time. We had some more wandering around to do during the day, had dinner and a nice night (including drinking from IV bags at The Clinic, yay!), and then Friday morning it was time for him to take a very long trip home.

Lots has happened since the year started that involves meeting new friends and seeing old ones who were passing through and having a weekend visitor and going to the Singapore premiere of Milk but I'm tired and it's time for bed.

Labels: Friends, Living in SG, Relationships, Travel

Like many people I like to take time at the end of the year to look forward to what comes next, even though I shy away from making resolutions and instead try to make plans But also like most people I like to reflect on the year gone by, focusing on the good stuff but remembering, too, the bad.

The area of relationships includes both good and bad aspects. On the downside, I realized near the beginning of the year that, despite a year of resolving to work on our problems and trying to come back together, Adrian and I just couldn't seem to work things out. There's no need to get into details here, it just seemed we both had different ideas about what it would take to restart our relationship. Sadly, we had been moving in different directions, though fortunately we have been able to remain friends (a good thing, seeing as we still live together in the condo we co-own). He has been dating someone since this summer and I'm happy for him.

On the upside, however, things took a nice turn with Stan. We met at a Halloween party in 2007 and had been getting to know each other over time. In February, when he changed jobs and got a more normal schedule, we had more time to hang out and over a few months seemed to develop into "best friends." That development continued and by the time July came around we added "dating" to our description, and the word "boyfriends" entered our vocabulary this fall. So yes, I have a very nice boyfriend, and I'm very happy about that.

That has made my current work situation a little bittersweet. One of the most unique aspects of this year has been my (temporary) return to teaching. I learned at the end of April that I'd been selected for a prestigious academic exchange program. As a result I now live in Singapore, from November 2008 to March 2009, teaching a graduate school course at a major university here. It's fun, as I love teaching and I've always been interested in living in Asia, so this is great and I'm having a blast. It sucks to leave a boyfriend behind for 4 months, but fortunately he saved up his vacation time and we used a frequent flyer ticket to bring him over for 12 days, so YAY for us having an Asian adventure!!

I'm enjoying my time in Singapore and really feel like I'm fitting into the local landscape. I have some nice friends here and am very happy about that. There are still other people I want to meet, people I've known online for a long time, but I'm having trouble organizing my time well. Since I'm about halfway through my time here, I need to do better with that. I'm going to the gym regularly here and have a trainer and am feeling much better about my body, in terms of both health and appearance.

My time in Singapore has created some opportunties for travel. A couple weeks ago I was in Saigon for the first time and I just returned from a trip to Penang with Stan, my first time there as well. I'm hoping to get to Thailand for a weekend and will also be spending a weekend in Hong Kong in February, followed by four days in Tokyo on my way home in March.

There has been a LOT of travel this year. I worked in a couple trips to New York, both on my own and with Stan, and one of those was a quick hop up to see a play with just an overnight stay (I almost went without staying overnight but realized I needed at least one night in the city). I got reintroduced to Don't Tell Mama and The Web and visited a few other nice restaurants and bars, and much fun was had each time.

Short, domestic trips for work included a weekend in Atlanta and a weekend in Portland, my first time there. I got to see one of my old students, who has turned into a much more mature and interesting young man than he was when I first knew him in Colorado (and he was pretty mature and interesting even then!). Later I spent a few days in San Francisco for an academic conference where I got to see an old friend from SF and also see my friends Carol and Giacomo, who were teaching there at the time. I didn't make it to Hawaii for work this year, which is unusual, but I'm determined to make it there next year, for vacation if nothing else. This was also my first year at Gay Disney in Orlando at the end of May, which was a pretty fun weekend with friends. Not sure if I'll do it again, and if I do it may be a bit different, but it was a fun weekend for sure.

The big trip this year was to Southeast Asia, where I spent 3 weeks for work in Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, and Singapore, with a couple days' stop up in Hong Kong on the way home. In Bangkok I saw Bom for the first time in a couple years, and also had an adventure with Linh from DC, who was there on an internship. In KL I got to spend time with my blogger friends and finally met DanielHenry and got the chance to know David better, and also got to spend some good times with Eddie (and introduce him to the bloggers!) and William, Alex, and Jason as well. The trip was long, and I was ready to get home when it was over. Other than New York and Rehoboth Beach, that was pretty much it for travel until heading to Singapore in November.

One reason I neeeded to get home was the running. I was training for a big race and needed to get into my routine by early July, and once I did I worked my ass off. After some friends ran the Marine Corps Marathon in 2007 they convinced me I should give it a try in 2008, so I committed myself to doing that. I only started running in January (before that, 30 minutes on the elliptical machine was my aerobic workout). By March I ran my first race, a five-miler, and in April I ran the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler, a big race in DC. But I managed to injure my knee and couldn't run for a few weeks, and then my Asia trip came up, so I didn't really start marathon training until July. I was running 3 times per week and mostly designed my own training schedule, with encouragement from Ethan and Vu. I got myself ready for the Army 10-Miler in early October and knocked more than 8 minutes off my previous 10-mile time. 3 weeks later came the Marathon, and I kicked its ass. I was thrilled that I ran the whole way, never slowing down to a walk, and I finished in what I thought was a pretty decent time for a first-timer. It was an amazing feeling to do that, especially going from not running at all to running a marathon in only 10 months. To the surprise of everyone, not the least of whom me, six weeks later I ran the Singapore Marathon, and while my time was slower, I still finished ahead of 79% of the runners, so not too bad. I'm kinda proud of myself for setting this goal and achieving it. Physical fitness has never been my strength (pun intended) so I'm very happy this all went so well.

My other physical activity was dragon boating, which I totally got into. After rowing with AQUA in the DC festival back in May I have given some thought to joining DC's dragonboat team but I'm not sure I can make the time committment right now. I've enjoyed watching dragonboating in Singapore (for all the obvious reasons) and would like to hook up with a team here, just to learn some things from them, but I'm kinda out of time in my daily schedule, so we'll see how that works out.

Thanks to all that physical activity I felt comfortable doing some modeling this year. I got to be a part of Vu's calender (last year it was al Asian men, this year it was pairs of folks) and that was fun. I also did two sessions for a professional who was looking for models, one by myself and one with a second person. That was a lot of fun, I got to exlore some interesting ideas and also learned to feel comfortable in front of a camera -- I'm not the most photogenic person in the world, so that was a nice experience.

This has been a good year for friends. In addition to gettig to know Stan better early in the year I also found my friendship with Ethan strengthening, and that has been nice. Linh and I also bonded a bit, and we may have the Spice Girls to thank for that. I formally joined AQUA in January, as one of the "token white guys," heh heh heh. Along the way I've gotten to know a couple new folks and have seen my friendships with others develop over the year. There have been some fun parties, some trips, but to be honest I'm still trying to find the solid ground underneath my relationships in DC. The situation with Adrian and I has, I think, made other relationships a bit unstable, simply because our lives have been so uncertain. Overseas, I finally got the chance to meet Azhan, whom I've known online for a couple years, as well as Derek in Singapore whom I've also known online for a long time, and I've added Jasen, Alan, Joshua, and KK to the "good friends" list as well.

I've barely mentioned "work" in any of this, and that's because work in DC is just not an important part of my life right now. I do it, and I do it well, but it bores me. My bosses have no idea what to do with me and cannot figure out how to use my skills, so my days at the office seem filled with tasks that really don't matter. That's partly why I applied for the exchange program, and that's partly why I did a research project for another agency (that's who sent me on the 3-week Asia trip this summer). I wish they wanted to use me, but they don't, so I look for other opportunties to be useful and to develop my own skills, and I spend a lot of time planning my exit from this career next year.

My concerns about wasting time in this job became very important this summer when I had a health scare. During a physical exam the doctor told me that I had symptoms of colon cancer. A long three weeks later I finally had a colonoscopy and the results were negative for cancer. That's good, and it also reminded me that things can happen and life can end suddenly, so it's best to get the most out of it now rather than waiting for a day that may never come. I emerged from that experience content with my life, realizing that while there are many things I still WANT to do, I think I have done most if not all of the things I HAVE to do in my life. It's comforting to feel I have not wasted my time on this earth.

One new "work" experience this year has been a professional blog I started. I'm not sure what sparked my interest but I began writing a blog that, if done right, can later be turned into a book and developed into a university course. It was a bit "stop and go" as I started it this spring but by the summer knew I hadn't done it quite right. I stoped, retooled it over a couple months,then restarted it in the fall. It doesn't have a lot of readers but it does give me a chance to express myself, so we'll see where it goes.

It has been an amazing year, full of changes good and bad. I look forward to 2009. What will happen then? Well, there will be a major career change late in the year, and once that happens I'll be a bit more open about some things on this website. I'm going to continue running, and in additon to the races I ran this year (except the Singapore Marathon, I think) I'm planning a couple additional ones. I'm also going to continue the gym routines and the nutrition plans I've been working on in Singapore, so I can finally feel healthy and good about my body. Stan is leaving DC for grad school at the end of the summer, and that will create a hole in my life. I'm going to work harder on my DC friendships, and perhaps cut back on the travel a bit so I can focus more on home. Having said that, I still plan a trip to Vancouver, and at least one trip to San Francisco, and there's a good chance I'll have an extended stay back in Thailand, perhaps for 3 weeks in September to go to massage school and kickboxing camp. Hey, why not? My business blog has been picked up as a column for a newspaper so I'll be writing that this year, and I look forward to doing more with the blog itself.

All in all, a very good year. 2008 reminded me that I'm one of the luckiest people on Earth, with good friends, lots of opportunities for adventures, and interesting career possibilities that are pretty much within my own control rather than someone else's. My goal when moving to DC in 2006 was to use this time to set myself up for all the fascinating things that are set to occur for me in 2009. Despite the ups and downs along the way and the interesting (and usually good) changes to my plans, I think I've succeeded in that. 2008 was good, and I'm ready for 2009.

Bring it on.

Labels: Friends, Health, Living in SG, Relationships, Running, Teaching, Travel, Web, Work

Stan and I are in the airline lounge at Penang airport heading back to Singapore. We had a great trip here, including seeing a good friend, having some quality beach time (skimpy swimsuits in a Muslim country YAY!), fantastic food, and yes, a couple very nice sessions at the spa. We had facials yesterday after the beach and today we had massages, scrubs, and scented baths before leaving for the airport. The hotel was nice, the town was fun and a new experience for us both, and overall we had a really good time here.

The fact that the hotel room was bigger than my Singapore apartment had nothng to do with it, of course.

Labels: Friends, Relationships, Travel

Stan arrived Sunday night, and hooray for that. Having done the 27-hour trip myself only 7 weeks earlier I know the poor boy is tired and a bit disoriented, but he has adapted well to the time and climate changes, certainly better than I did. We've spent the time since then taking in some of the sights and sounds of Singapore at Christmas time. It's been raining today but has stopped now, though we'll have a cloudy Christmas I think. Yesterday we ate lunch at Mos Burger, his favorite place from when he lived in Taiwan a couple years ago, and today we ate at Carl's Jr, a place he enjoyed at home in North Carolina but which we don't seem to have in DC. Strange to have to come 10,000 miles o find it, but that's just the nature of the American fast food industry.

As we've wandered about town I've noticed something: Stan's getting checked out a lot. When I go around town by myself I don't notice a lot of second looks but Stan is getting them constantly, whether in a gay bar, at the gym, on the subway, or wherever. Perhaps, then, the reason for a lack of interest in me isn't that I'm a hideous troll, but instead is that the guys here are "sticky rice" rather than "potato queens." Good for them, I guess, because I've always felt sorry for guys who live in Asian countries and are mostly attracted to white guys, because there just aren't that many. If you're attracted to the dominant ethnicity you've got a lot more options.

Of course, it could have nothing to do with Stan's ethnicity, it could just be that he's a hundred times cuter than I. But I don't want to dwell on that possibility.

Tonight we are going to a mega-church Christmas spectacular with my straight friend Joshua and his friends, then we are celebrating the countdown to Christmas Day. Apparently, in Singapore, Christmas Eve is kind of like New Year's Eve. Interesting. Any excuse to party, I guess.

Labels: Flirting, Living in SG, Relationships

Hanging out with Stan Monday (we visited the Newseum) I realized just how much had happened over the summer. Sure, according to the calendar we still have some summertime left, but really, the 101 days between Memorial Day and Labor Day are what really count. Thinking back to where I was, where we were, back on Memorial Day, it's wild to think about how much has happened.

In terms of trips alone, it's been busy:

- two beach trips, one to start off the summer and one in July

- Gay Disney

- a New York City weekend with Stan

- and of course, the three weeks running around Asia back in June and July (when, I should add, I finally visited the fabled Babylon in Bangkok for the first time...but only to look around!).

So, overall, about a month was spent somewhere else. But still, some good stuff happened while I was home, like enjoying the Olympics. And I finally got to compete in the dragon boat race. Oh, and before Memorial Day the farthest I'd run was 10 miles, but even after dealing with an injury and not running seriously for about 6 weeks, I'm up to 21 miles as my farthest so far (and 23 miles are scheduled for this weekend, if the hurricane stays away!).

Some scary stuff happened too, like the three weeks of my cancer scare. But that turned out OK, and I've been medically cleared to head off to Singapore in November, so yay that. And I sold my Bug, which was not scary, but felt a little weird.

Obviously, the most important thing for me is time with friends. Some of my local friends were gone for the summer (but I managed to see Linh during my 2 days in Bangkok). But during my travels I got to see my KL friends, and my Singapore friends (and meet some new people, too!), and see Tony in Hong Kong and finally meet his wonderful boyfriend Max. I got to reconnect with Eddie, get to know David better, and meet up with some Fridae friends I hadn't met before. Here at home, of course, Stan and I have seen our friendship grow into something very cool (and it's only getting better!).

So it's been a good summer, and a full one. It still surprises me a bit when I think about all that's happened in only 3 months.

The scary thing is...the next 3 months seem even busier!!

Labels: Friends, Health, Life, Olympics, Relationships, Running, Travel

So, what's been happening during the week I've been too busy to blog? Well...

Tuesday I had dinner with a friend who lives here and is originally from Penang, who also lived in Boston and New York before coming here. I helped him shop for a new mattress, we had Afghan food, and he gave me advice for a friend of mine in Penang who wants to come study here (hi, Azhan!!). He was thrilled to be riding in my Beetle (frankly, I was thrilled it was working) because he used to have one in Boston. It was from him that I learned that I can raise the front seats. It totally changed my driving experience.

Wednesday night my friend Doug was in town. Ah, Doug, who when I met him was a college student living in a (admittedly nice) trailer in Colorado, and who now lives in Germany with his hot German boyfriend. How times have changed. We had a nice long talk on the way into DC for dinner about all the stuff going on here at home...he'd read the basics from my blog but seeing as we've known each other for about 13 years he was getting concerned about my change in tone over the last couple years and he wanted to make sure I'm cool. And for that, I am appreciative. Also in the outing was Arlington Michael (who now lives in DC but once I give you a nickname, it sticks) who, in an odd twist of fate, dated Doug after Doug moved to DC a few years ago. Michael's boyfriend Mike (whom I have not yet graced with a Michael-nickname, though Hottie Michael would be appropriate) was also there, which means that for a while before Adrian joined us, Arlington Michael was sitting with a tableful of people who had ALL SLEPT WITH HIM. That had to be totally hot. For him.

Thursday night Stan came over and I fixed dinner and we watched Super Troopers. I thought this was going to be some sort of a Reno 911 kind of thing but it was actually really good. Oh, and my pasta was all right, though the bread I'd gotten the night before from Safeway had mold on it so BOO for Safeway.

Incidentally, people have been asking me who Stan is, so here's a pic:


We met at Josh and Angelo's Halloween party and had some professional things in common. We got to talking, met up for lunch a couple times, and over the past few months have turned into really good friends. He's a lot of fun to hang out with and we share interests but also are up for new things so it's never boring. I won't talk much about what a great guy he is because he reads this and it might embarrass him, but I will say he likes to drink for free on Thursday nights and leave it at that (the DC boys know what that means).

Friday night Justin came over, I fixed up a little dinner, and we watched the Miss USA pageant, which I'd TIVO'd. Justin is a big fan of pageants going back to his younger days, and I have to admit I got really caught up in it as the evening went on. I was very impressed with the young lady who won and who will be representing the US at Miss Universe in Vietnam this summer.

Saturday was a good day. I met Stan and we ran 3 miles in the morning...it was a beautiful day so getting out was a must. Then I spent a few hours doing some errands and working on a project I'm trying to get off the ground. My favorite line of the day came from Ethan, who called around mid-afternoon:

Ethan: We're going running this evening, you want to go?

Me; I already ran once today.

Ethan: So? You can eat in the morning and evening, why can't you run twice?

Me: I have no good response to that.

So I ran again, 5 miles this time, and it was all good, even my knee.

Sunday was dragon boat practice and naturally it started raining while we were on the river. Just a light rain at first but then it REALLY came down hard.

Me: My hair's going to be a mess for Happy Hour.

Guy behind me: I'm more concerned about that lightning, and the fact we're in a metal boat in the middle of a river.

Me: I have no good response to that.

Today I was going to run on the machines in the gym because it was still raining but when I stepped outside it had stopped. So I decided to run outside and hadn't gone more than 100 meters before the rain started coming down again. i thought about going back to the gym but everyone had seen me leave and I didn't want to look like a wuss. After all, it's only water, right? So yeah, it came down hard and I was pretty soaked after 3 miles, but at least I had the running trail to myself.

And now it's late and definitely time for sleeping!!

Labels: Friends, Life, Relationships

Adrian brought me flowers Wednesday and apologized for the way New Year's Eve went. He said that wasn't the way he wanted to start 2008. I appreciated that he acknowledged he made some mistakes. And the flowers smell very nice.

I'm on a small adventure tonight. Not quite as crazy as I first thought. But crazy enough. And sure to be fun! Details to follow.

Labels: Relationships

As with all years past I'll take today to kind of wrap up there last 365 days. It's been a wild ride of a year...things I expected got shifted around, things I totally didn't expect popped up, and all in all one of the best things I can say about the year is that no one shot directly at me. Though the year isn't over for about another 8 hours, so we'll see.

There are some things I mentioned last December that I was going to do that, unfortunately, didn't get done. I was planning to upload all my journal archives from before the big Diary-X crash, but the external hard drive where they're stored has crapped out on me and I can't get them off of it. I need to buy another drive and have someone go in and get the data off the bad one to transfer to the new one, but so far I've been lazy and haven't done that. Another thing I'd hoped to do was work on my dissertation, finally turning it into a book I can publish. I think there are some good ideas in there (and someone must agree...my dissertation spends a lot of time checked out of the two libraries where it resides) and I need to get it out into a more mainstream forum before time passes me by. I got going on it in earnest toward the end of the year at work but then some other things came up that took precedence. However, I've got a schedule for finishing it and I guess I can just bump the schedule a couple months and get back on it, and then I'll be fine.

Some totally unexpected things came up this year and I guess I should expect the same in 2008. The biggest was that I went to Afghanistan for 2 months, in June and July, to train the faculty at a military school. This was my second war (though, unlike Iraq where I got shot at every day, this time I only heard gunfire but never had it directed at me) and I think I'm done with the whole "war" thing. Of course, I thought that after Iraq, too. My time there was interesting and I felt I did some good, so even though there were some hardships there, at least it was rewarding. I have to say, though, that it hardened my resolve to get far away from the government when I leave my job in 2009.

My job has been a big let down in some ways this year, though I have tried to find an upside. I realized by the end of last year that I wouldn't be doing the work I signed on to do. Since then I've found I don't have much to do at all...we are overstaffed in my office, and my boss has no concept of "leadership" so I haven't really been given a clearly defined job to do. I've been taking on tasks as they come in, which is not really my strength (I'm best at the "long range" stuff) so I've been bored. That, in fact, is a big reason I volunteered for Afghanistan. I talked over the problem with my bosses when I left, but in the 5 months since I returned, nothing much has changed. Rather than complaining to them about it, I looked around for a position in another agency, but finally decided instead to take advantage of the free time I have at work to work on projects for other organizations and also start doing some serious planning for my post-government future. I also managed to publish a chapter in a book about the war in Iraq, so that's cool.

That planning, which I talked about at the end of last year, has moved forward. 2007 was my year to figure out what I want to do next, 2008 is my year to get things in place for the transition, and 2009 is the year it all comes together. So far this year I've developed a number of job plans and looked at the costs and benefits of all of them, trying to come up with the best option. I have a pretty good business plan laid out for my own consulting firm, and I'm also looking into teaching possibilities in the DC area. I still have some things to learn about, like marketing and such, but overall I have a decent idea and I want to start making it happen next year, testing the waters a bit. My goals are to have interesting work taking advantage of skills and knowledge I have, a flexible schedule, travel, and good money. While I'm wishing, I'd also like a pony. But hey, if you don't try, you can never succeed.

The one advantage of work this year has been the opportunity for travel. I've been to Hawaii twice, once for work and once for a combination of work and vacation. I've visited San Francisco twice, as well as Dallas and Tampa, and a trip to Atlanta which was very short and pretty boring. I also made it to Chicago, where I gave a paper but also got out of the hotel, which I don't often do on business trips to that city. Adrian and I also took a non-work trip to Puerto Rico for a long weekend last spring, and we met friends in New York back in February, while I also had a solo trip there in October. The big trip for me, of course, was to Asia in September, partially funded by work but also using the 10 vacation days I still had to use by the first of October. That. Was. Amazing. I got a day in Bangkok, though Bom had to go out of town and I wasn't able to see him. It was my first visit to Vietnam, and I got to spend a few days in Hanoi. Then I was off to Kuala Lumpur for 5 days, which was so much fun I still smile when I think of it. Afterwards I had 3 days in Hong Kong, which was a great time, then I headed back home and went to work the following day. Needless to say, I was a tired pup for a week. A planned trip to the Philippines for work got called off, though I hope to go in the coming year. I also am planning to get back to Singapore and Malaysia this year -- I got a research grant for a policy study and need to do some interviews in both countries. I'll probably add some Bangkok and Hong Kong time to that trip. And there are some other professional possibilities that might take me back to the region next year, though if that doesn't work out, I'll probably take a vacation over there.

As always, the best part of traveling is seeing old friends and meeting new ones. January's trip to Dallas led me to meet Ken from Bangkok who's now in Miami...a completely random meetup in a club, neither of us realizing the other was in town, and never having met before...how weird is that? In March I met Paulo while dancing in San Francisco, and in November we got to meet up again and go to dinner and get to know each other more than a dance floor with loud music allows. My time in Afghanistan allowed me to meet some professional colleagues who are pretty cool, so that was nice. After returning I saw I'd gotten e-mails from a couple folks on Fridae and after chatting with them I later got to meet them, so yay for meeting Eddie in Malaysia (who has tuned into a very special friend, someone who has captured his own place in my heart) and later Tony in Hong Kong. Also in HK I got to meet Eric, whom I've known over a year online but hadn't met yet. Of course, the big group meetup was in Kuala Lumpur, where I got to meet David, Frankie, Sam, Daniel, Paul, Alex, Jason, Jason Jr, Janvier, Cheryl, Thaddes, and Adrien. And of course, there was William...if you ask me why two people form a a strong emotional connection, I couldn't say, but if you ask me if it exists, I'd say YES! Can't explain it but I feel a special bond to William, and I think it's more than just the name thing. heh heh And no, it's not a physical thing, so the skanks among you can quit worrying about that. The last trip of the year, to Honolulu, led me to meet Kester, who is also friends with a couple people I know in Singapore...small world! And of course, October's trip to NYC led me to meet Paul, a very special guy who e-mailed me pretty much every day I was in Afghanistan, which helped...another "Fridae friend" who has tuned into a very cool real world friend. I also had the pleasure of meeting Joel on that trip, who is as funny and insightful in real life as he is on his blog that I've read for over a year.

This was also a year for new friends right here at home. Danny and I have finally gotten to know each other after a brief meeting in 2006. I met Vu and Troy and have gravitated into their circle of friends. Dan from Baltimore is another great guy I've gotten to know. And of course, Linh and I met late in the year and already I feel a strong friendship growing. I'm a lucky man.

Some of my existing friendships grew stronger this year. Ethan and I have gotten closer...the fact that we now work 2 blocks from each other makes it easier to get together during the week, and that's very cool. I got to meet up with Fritz a few times this year, both here and in Hawaii. Justin and I have gotten to know each other better as well. I didn't get to see Allan in Singapore this year, which is a real shame 'cuz I miss him, but I'll see him in the new year. Same with Bom. A few of my friends have had a rough time of it...one suffered a loss midway through the year, other friends have had serious problems in their relationships...but I think everyone is strong enough to bounce back from these and move forward.

It's been important to me to meet new friends and reconnect with old ones. Friends have always been the most important thing to me, and I've lost a part of that. It's time to reclaim them, reclaim that fun, and I'm glad I am. I think finally getting active on Facebook has helped. heh heh

As for me? I'm doing well, I think. I got serious about taking care of myself earlier in the year and managed to lose 20 pounds while adding muscle...much of that came from being in Afghanistan, with body armor all the time and nothing to do but work out after finishing my job, and of course I don't recommend that for everyone. I'm pleased I've been able to stay in good shape, though I have faltered during the holidays and will get back into my routine this week. After a few years of some serious body issues I'm actually happy with how I look now and am determined to maintain it for both health and looks. I'm also registered to run in two races next spring. In the last year I've explored some new interests, done a bit of new reading, and made goals for myself that I've later achieved, so that's all good. I may not be thrilled about everything in my life...and I may be a very different person from my normal self...but I think I'm in a good place right now.

The reason I'm a different person, and the reason I'm not totally content with where I am in life, is simple: Adrian and I. At the end of last year he said he wanted to work on things and try to get back together, but it's been a roller-coaster year as far as that goes. I've been up a few times but down most of the time, and that's why I tell many of my new friends "I wish you'd met me before all this because I'm really a much better person than I seem right now." The situation has been so confusing, and so complicated...I think most friends have given up trying to understand it, which is OK since I don't understand it myself. After 16 months of being depressed about it one thing is clear: it needs to get resolved, and soon, so my life can move forward again.

But we have still had some fun...a couple parties at the condo, the trips to Puerto Rico and Hawaii. When I look at the balance sheet for the year, I have to say it comes out with a profit rather than a loss. And I have next year to look forward to: getting ready for my post-government career, maybe doing some teaching, possible finishing writing one book and starting another (need to get to work on those). I also intend to meet some online friends: DanielHenry in KL, Harper and Luke Elijah in Singapore, Huy in Australia, and of course, Azhan in Malaysia (I'll try to sneak you-know-who into my suitcase for you!). I also plan to finally meet derek in Singapore...so strange that I've met his friends and his boyfriend but haven't actually met him yet. I expect to spend some more time in New York, hanging out with Scooter and getting to know Paul better. I'm hoping to see Kester again in Honolulu, and visit some new places: Taiwan, maybe, or Vancouver. I'm scheduled to go to Portland for work, and San Francisco too...that should be fun. I have tickets to see My Fair Lady at the Kennedy Center (thank you Adrian!) and the Spice Girls with Linh. I want to see my KL brothers again. I need to spend some time with Eddie in Malaysia and get Allan to slow down long enough for a hug or two or twelve. I hope to see Bom again and will visit Thailand simply for that reason. I would like my friendships here to grow stronger...I want people to know I'm not always such a mess, I'm actually someone they can count on. The bottom line is, I want to be happier, and I want to make everyone around me happier.

But isn't that what all of us want?

Happy New Year, everybody.

Labels: Friends, Life, Questions, Relationships, Teaching, Travel, Wandering Mind, Work

I'm getting a day behind on my journal so it's time to get caught up.

Sunday I went to see Ethan finish running his first marathon. He completed the 26.2 mile (42.1648 km) Marine Corps Marathon in just over four and a half hours.


Ethan got into training for the marathon after his friend (and now my friend) Vu invited him last spring. They trained all through the summer, running every other day, either after work or at 5am on Saturdays. They also worked out at the gym 5 days a week. In the end, Ethan ran along with Vu and Vu's cousin Louise, and they all finished the race.



It's been hard getting the chance to see Ethan these last few months, what with his training schedule and all. In addition to the marathon he's helped other friends out by appearing in local dance productions and modeling contests, all in addiiton to starting a new job. I have been very impressed by Ethan's dedication to his goal and the balance he somehow maintains in his life...while his life right now is not exactly what I would want for myself -- everyone is unique, of course -- the example he is setting is one I hope to emulate.

More pics are available here. And yes I do have some other Ethan pics that I will post soon, for someone out there who really likes to see them. (He stopped by last night to borrow one of Adrian's suits, and suddenly there were wigs involved)

Last night I got a call from Linh to borrow some of my clothes from Afghanistan for a Halloween costume. After trying on a few things he decided on a set then we hung out and talked and looked at photos for a while. Nice night.

Tonight Adrian and I and a bunch of friends went to see the annual 17th Street High Heel Race here in Washington DC. This is a big race consisting of drag queens running down the gayest street in town. It starts with a 2-hour "work the runway" parade, followed by a 100-yard dash. I was there to support Dayna, who raced as Mulan (her photos are in my Halloween party pics from this weekend).

Then got home and found that my car, which has a dead battery, is parked in a spot that as of 7am tomorrow needs to be vacated for some building renovation work. After a bit of scrambling I managed to jump start it and move it out of danger. This was not what I needed, after Adrian and I had a late night argument Monday that left me with only 2 hours of sleep. there are some dark storm clouds brewing over that one.

But then I got to finish baking cookies for an office function tomorrow, so that's cool.

Labels: Friends, Life, Relationships

Because someone (a different someone this time) asked for it, here are two more pics. But seriously, that's it.





On a less gratuitous note, Adrian and I had a long talk last night, a couple hours' worth. A lot of things that had been building up during the last few weeks finally came out, things I'd been thinking about, things underneath (and often hidden by) the bad emotions that had been simmering. Last night seemed to be a turning point, but then, there have been a few of those during the past year, and I've been disappointed each time, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up TOO much. But at least we talked about these issues and Adrian agreed on the need to do some things, so there is a faint glimmering of hope. One thing I've realized, if we are able to come back together, our relationship will be a bit different from what it was before. Part of that is because whatever we had before led to a breakup, and that's not good. And part of it is, considering this has dragged on now for over a year, we've both changed during that time...whatever we had is gone because those two people are gone. But that's not necessarily a bad thing...maybe this is just a way for relationships to naturally evolve.

Hmmm, that's getting a bit heavy. My advice: just go back and look at those pictures again.

Labels: Bars, Friends, Relationships

7 years ago today I started this blog.

Considering I'd never kept a written journal for longer than 2 weeks, that's quite an accomplishment, if I do say so myself.

I still need to get my remaining archives posted here...the external hard drive where they're saved (the ones I managed to retain after the Diary-X crash) has gone bad, and I need to get a new drive and get the data off the old one if I can. I hope so...there may be a book in all this material. perhaps not a good one, but...

Here's where I was when this started, and where I am today:

OUR STORY THUS FAR

My name is William...Bill for short.

Now, of course, I go by Will. Except by those who have known me longer than 10 years and can't change. Or by those also named Wililam who want to avoid confusion.

I'm 34, a grad student pursuing my PhD.

Now I'm 41, have finished my PhD, and taught at a university in the meantime.

Washington, DC is home for me.

Washington is still home for me, though since starting this I've also lived in Alabama and Colorado, then returned here last year.

I'm dating a wonderful guy named River (who, sadly, is in Dallas for a month)

Well, River made it back from Dallas. But three months after starting this, we broke up. We remain very good friends, though, and he works less than a mile from me now, so we meet up for lunch pretty often. He's still very cute and very sweet. Soon after that breakup - 10 days, actually - was when Adrian and I met.

I love to travel.

No change there. Except now I've gone beyond Europe, which was my main destination at the time, and have had 3 trips to Southeast Asia and a few to Canada, as well as one trip to Russia. I've also been to a couple wars. Those were not so fun.

I'm an eclectic Wiccan, practicing as a Solitare rather than part of a coven.

Though I still believe in the philosophies of Wicca, I haven't been actively practicing for years. For me, it was always more of a philosophy than a religion, and it remains a factor that shapes my actions and my life. I think, at the time, I was looking for some more structure in my life, and Wicca provided it. Also, I look good in black.

As I re-read the first month's entries today I'm struck by how many of the people I mentioned still play a key role in my life. The bloggers I mention in there I have now mostly met, and one of them has become a very dear friend (hi, Scooter!). The friends in Dc are, for the most part, still here, and they are all still friends.

In the intervening years I have made a number of new friends all over the world...at the time, I had a philosophy that I wouldn't bother getting to know people online if I didn't think I would meet them someday. That philosophy has been good because it kept me from going overboard with online-only friendships, it encouraged me to get to know really good people, and it led me to make the effort to meet these people, which has thoroughly enriched my life, something as true during the last month as it was all those years ago. Most of those folks linked over on the left are people I've gotten to know since starting this...my life is so much better for knowing them.

Back then I seemed to be a much happier, much more relaxed writer. Certainly a bit funnier. I think part of it is, I had more to write about. The nature of my job now doesn't lend itself to much detail in a blog like this, and I also fear that I'm doing the very thing I tried hard not to do: falling into a boring, predictable pattern in life rather than experiencing lots of new things. Of course, I say that, then think about the trip I just took, and realize that can't really be the case.

Naturally, I had more time to write in school...I'd be working mostly at home so it was no problem to jump onto my blog site and write an entry. Now, I get home from work after sitting in front of a compuer all day and it's hard to take the time away from other things to write.

And of course, I am not the same person I was then. There have been some improvements, I've learned to relax a little bit, but on the whole, I'm not as happy with the person I am today. The changes that have occurred in me come from a variety of sources, some in my control and some not so much, but regardless of the reason, I don't like myself as much now as I did back then. Thinking about today's anniversary has given me a chance to reflect on why that is and consider what I might do about it.

One of my reasons for starting this journal of my life was I thought it would be cool to go back and look at old entries every now and then. I was right; it is. I can see what I was thinking all those years ago and trace the fun currents in my life ever since. I can see how I thought things would go and know how they really did. I can reflect on decisions and look at their results, unpredictable at the time but all too well-known now. I like that guy from 7 years ago. I think you would have liked him, too.

So...

Happy Anniversary to Me
Happy Anniversary to Me
Happy Anniversary to Wiliam/Bill/BillinDC/Will/BluDragon/'Tater Tom/Wei Lian/Doctor Goodenbed
Happy Anniversary to Me

I hope you'll stick around for another 7 years. I know I plan to. Thanks for reading.

Labels: Blogging, Friends, Life, Relationships, Wandering Mind, Website

At lunch with Ethan today I was telling him about a couple in KL that gets to see each other this weekend (one lives in Singapore at the moment), and then talking about one of the guys there, then remarking that "a week ago right now I was dancing in a straight bar in Hong Kong." He said, "wow, you really miss it."

Yeah. Yeah I do.

Not sure exactly what it is I miss. Of course, I love meeting new people, so that made the whole trip very exciting. And being away from work is always nice, as is visiting a new place. So yeah, that might explain part of it. But not all.

Part of it, I think, was seeing the close bond between my KL friends. The gay bloggers were just great, just a fantastic bunch of guys who care about each other very, very much. I used to have my own little tribe like that, when I lived here for grad school, but ever since returning to DC last year it's never reformed. Hell, one of the guys is even straight now (I knew I shouldn't have left). I miss that feeling, that closeness, that sense of knowing there are always people there. I don't blame my friends here, the truth is, ever since things went bad for Adrian and I, I kind of distanced myself from those friends, for a variety of reasons. The whole situation was just very disruptive to friendships that involved both of us. And I've made some new friends here, but I have trouble getting as close to them as I'd like, because the uncertainty in my life makes me hesitant, or makes me feel like damaged goods. In KL, even though I was an outsider, these guys made me feel like one of them, and I really, really needed that. It wasn't just the bloggers, of course...there were some individuals there, one in particular, who made me feel like i was an important part of their lives and they were an important part of mine, and that means so much to me.

Then there was the romance. The couples I saw there were so sweet with each other, and they reminded me of what's broken in my life. Adrian and I went from long-term couple, to broken up, to a state of limbo where we're supposedly trying to fix things...but we've been in that limbo for a year. I'm realizing that, as i ask him to do the minimum to bring us back together, what i really want is the love and romance that I saw expressed between these guys. It wasn't always really obvious, sometimes it was expressed in subtle ways, but it was always very honest. And I want that in my life again.

So I think maybe it's not so much that I miss these exotic places with these wonderful people. Maybe it's that I'm missing a life that I want to have, and don't. I need to get it back. And I don't know how. Or if I can.

Labels: Friends, Relationships, Travel

(I started writing this last week in Hong Kong and saved it as a draft, unsure what to do with it. I decided it's worth posting, after a little editing.)

I saw something in KL I really liked seeing: KL boys dating KL boys. Why is that memorable? Because in the US you see that very rarely...very often you see Asians and white guys together, but not as many Asians dating Asians (I find the term "sticky rice" offensive, by the way, as I do "rice queen" and "potato queen" -- comments?). I have talked with friends at home as well as friends on this journey, and they have narrowed the Asian + white thing down to three main reasons:

- simple personal preference, much like preferring blonds or tall guys
- a sense that Westerners are "better"
- money

The last 2 bother me...I think I don't like the idea that I might be lumped in with other white guys who might be taking advantage of those 2 reasons. Any kind of "inferiority complex" bothers me, as does "prostituting" oneself. Self respect, in my humble opinion, is worth more than any money.

(I'd like to think there's a fourth reason: simply being attracted to a guy without regard to his ethnicity or appearance. Is that more common than I think?)

The reason this occurs to me now is, Friday night was spent with an online friend in HK and his white British boyfriend. The boyfriend was kind of a jerk, and definitely didn't appreciate my friend. I thought to myself, "You have 2 people who want to hang out with you this evening: one who arranged his business travel so he could meet up with you, and one who has spent more time on his mobile talking to people who aren't here than he has talking to you." Which would you prefer? I mean, you have to decide for yourself how you deserve to be treated...I think my friend deserves to be treated better, and hopefully he will learn to think that too.

The other reason this occurs to me, of course, is that the couples I met in KL just look so damned cute together.

I should mention that Saturday night was spent with the same friend, without the bf this time, and he is so much cooler in a less stressful situation. He really deserves someone great, and I hope he finds him after jettisoning Mr Drunky Drunk.

Speaking of that Saturday night, I forgot to mention one incident at Propaganda. There were only a few people on the dance floor by 1am, but I was one of them, and a few cute lesbians were out there too. One of them, short with short hair, smiled and came to dance with me. We were having fun, and I leaned in and said, "I'm Will, what's your name?" She looked a little surprised (what, she expected me to speak Chinese maybe?) and ran off to her friends. She came back a couple minutes later, started dancing, leaned in and said:

"I'm a girl!"

"Um, yeah," I said, "I know that."

"Oh, she said, "I thought you thought I was a gay!!"

"No, I just wanted to know who I'm dancing with" was my reply.

She seemed happy with that. Her name was Florence, by the way.

Oh, and I had one other Malaysian adventure I forgot to mention: earlier this year I was watching some porn from Thailand and this one guy had a very cool necklace. Yeah, he was hot, so was his partner, blah blah blah, but I really liked that necklace. I looked for it in cities around the US but never found it. Anyway, the day after arriving in KL I was in Low Yat Plaza and, walking past a jewelry stand, I saw it. It isn't actually a necklace, but is instead a chain that clips to two belt loops (it's a thick chain with a small handcuff on each end that clips together)...but it looked great on the guy in the porno (he didn't have any belt loops to clip it to, because he didn't have any pants) so I'm sure if I wear it as a necklace, I too will look like a hot naked Thai guy.

That isn't really an adventure, I guess, but I just like talking about Thai porn. And now I will show up in Google when people look for "Thai porn" and they will be very, very disappointed.

Labels: Friends, Relationships, Thai Porn, Travel

It was six months ago tonight that Adrian came home and broke up with me. Then, near the end of November, he said he wanted to work on things and try to fix whatever went wrong. Lots of folks ask me how things are going and the reality is it's tough to tell. I'm not really clear on what all has changed. We talked tonight and reaffirmed that we want to fix this, but it's still unclear where all this is going to end up. Being in limbo continues to suck.

Labels: Relationships