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I always take some time at the end of the year to look back on all that's happened and try to make sense of it. As we hit these "Hallmark dates," as Linh called it, it's normal to pause and reflect (sometimes too much!). But it's important to also look forward, to get an idea of what I want to do so I can move in that direction. If 2009 was about just enjoying what I have (and that's as close as I can come to defining what last year meant to me) then 2010 will be a year of self-understanding and improvement.

Though I don't set New Year's resolutions for myself -- if something's worth doing, there's no reason to wait for a single date on the calendar to do it -- I do have some things I want to accomplish in the next year. In all cases, I'm already making plans, and I'll do what I can to make them all happen. These are the most important new things I want to take on.

New job My original plan for 2009 was a major career change, with retirement from my current line of work and a transition to something completely new. Well, those plans are on hold because I was selected for promotion (which will kick in July 1, as near as I can tell) and i saw opportunities that didn't exist before, so I've decided to stick around another couple years and see what happens. Though starting a new job isn't the most important thing to me, it's the one thing that will probably have the most profound impact in my happiness this year. Since my current job has been largely a waste of my time and talent, I'm looking forward to something new...specifically, to a teaching position for which I'm being considered. It would involve teaching at the master's degree level, which I enjoyed while in Singapore, and it would allow me to stay in DC, which is my #1 job consideration. I love teaching, and from what I've seen of the working environment at this school, it would be an enjoyable place to work. Not perfect, not somewhere i want to stay forever, but a good stepping stone to other things i want to do professionally. If the teaching gig falls through, i'll have to reconsider my retirement plans, so it'll be interesting to see where I am a year from now.

Travel with Linh I've known Linh for over 2 years, and even though we both love travel, we have yet to travel together. The closest we've come is a dinner and short adventure one evening in 2008 when I was visiting Bangkok and he was there for an internship, and a short layover for him in Singapore 363 days ago while I was living there. Those, of course, don't count, and so I've been hoping to actually take a trip together sometime. We talked about a couple ideas in 2009 after he graduated but our schedules didn't mesh. Now, we're looking at a week-long trip in March, and hopefully we can coordinate our personal and work schedules to make this happen. Though I often enjoy traveling on my own, I get a real thrill from traveling with someone important to me, as past trips with others have shown, and I would love for this to work out this year. Ideally, we'll go someplace neither one of us has been, allowing us to really get into exploration mode. We've discussed a couple options, and no, it won't be to Asia!

Explore emerging interests In the last few months there are a few things that have popped up as new or returning interests, things I want to explore more fully in 2010. For some reason, don't ask me why, I've gotten interested in massage. Perhaps because I know how good it feels to receive one, I'd like to give that good feeling to others. I've been teaching myself some basics using books and practicing on friends, and in the spring I'm planning to attend the Wat Po School in Bangkok to study traditional Thai massage. This sounds like fun, and some friends are already making requests for massages. I've also been enjoying cooking and baking a bit more lately, and with encouragement from Linh I'm going to try to take my baking to a new level, not just with the cookies and candy I make but moving on to cakes and pastries as well. I'd like to get really proficient at creating desserts, and if nothing else I get to eat the mistakes. Finally, in the last few months I've had the time to start dabbling more in photography again, an interest I sort of gave up a few years ago, for reasons i don't understand. Anyway, it's time to get serious about this again.

Run a marathon for fun Ever since I started running in January 2007, and ran my first race that spring, I've been trying to improve. I don't compete against others in races, but I do compete against myself. I like the idea of continuous improvement in my running times, and I was pretty successful with that in 2009. But at the same time, I want to be able to step back from that, to not worry about the results but just get out there because it's fun to be part of a big race. When I go to Hong Kong for February's marathon I'm planning to push myself (though my training for that race is not going so well) but in May I'm running the Flying Pig Marathon with Ethan, and I'm just going to plan to run his pace regardless of whether that's faster or slower. I'm going there to run with him, so I plan to do the whole race with him, and if that's at a faster pace, great, but if we're slower, that's cool too. Sometimes we should forget about improvement and just focus on the doing. I'm also hoping to run the New York City Marathon in November, but haven't decided which approach to take to that one -- I think it depends on whether I'm running it alone or if Ethan is running it too.

Start a business As part of my preparation for retirement and career change, I intend to set up a business this year. The idea is to start learning about what I need to make a consulting business successful, and begin laying a foundation for when I actually do retire. Though I can't work on it full time, I've already talked with Stan and Linh about being a part of this, giving them an opportunity to put their particular talents to work, to do something a little different, and maybe to make a little extra money (which no one minds doing). With their collaboration this could be very cool. I expect this to start small and grow slowly, so not much is likely to happen with it this year, but at least I can take the first important steps. As part of this, I'm hoping to expand the exposure of my professional blog and also start generating some more income from that, so at least it pays for itself.

There are some other things I want to do this year, and later in the future too, but I'll save those for next time, as this is turning into a longer post than I planned.

Labels: Friends, Life, Running, Teaching, Travel, Work

It's that time again...time to reflect back on the year behind us and see what it meant to me.

I'm ending this year in a very different place than last year, at least geographically: back in DC. My return from Singapore in March was bittersweet; I came back to people who are important to me but left behind a life that I enjoyed. I had a fantastic time teaching and my time there ended on a high note. While I was there I really enjoyed the way I lived my life, it was a very social place with people doing stuff together every night. I resolved to live that way after coming home and to a large extent I've succeeded, though I can do a better job of balancing that! I miss Singapore, which is the main reason I headed back that way in September and would love to go back there again. At the time, living there permanently was a possibility, but with some changes in my career plans that option is on hold for now.

Those career changes have been interesting so far, and I'm curious to see what happens in 2010. Though I was planning on retiring from my current career and shifting gears to try something brand new, I was unexpectedly selected for promotion, and that has changed everything. Though I considered turning down the promotion -- after all, I'd already made the mental adjustments I needed to be ready to retire -- I realized there might be some interesting things I could do with this increased rank. As it turns out I've been interviewing for a teaching position here in town, and I think I have a good shot at it. If for some reason that doesn't work out then I'll have some decisions to make...there's a good chance I'll end up turning down the promotion if the assignment doesn't work out like I want. But it's still nice to be selected, because for someone like me who's done a lot of unusual things and who hasn't followed anything like a normal career path, getting promoted was a big surprise indeed.

Career-wise, by the way, my current job hasn't changed at all. It still sucks, and has all year. The saving grace has been that it's given me the chance to do different things outside my regular job because what I do day-to-day isn't very demanding.

Academically, I didn't do much after returning from Singapore. I didn't publish any papers this year, though I did finish a study that I think the State Department is using in crafting their Asia policy, and I presented a paper at a conference, so those are good things. I've still kept up with my writing, not only with my professional blog (which went over 200 entries this year) but also by writing a monthly column for a business newspaper here. Fun!

As is always the case in my life, the most important thing this year has been time with friends. I made some great new friends in Singapore...meeting Joshua at the end of 2008 turned out to be a great thing as our friendship took off and turned into something wonderful. At first I was happy to know him because I thought it was cool that a straight guy in Singapore was so open-minded, but I later I was happy just because he's a great guy. Immediately after the New Year I met Ed, who turned out to be one of my best friends there and to whom I still feel very close (in fact, we talked just this morning). A traveler like me, he managed to arrange his autumn vacation so we could spend about a week together in Singapore when I went back that way in September. It was during that trip that I finally got to know Ben in Singapore, a friend of Linh's whom I'd tried to get to know when I lived there but it just never worked out. In terms of meeting new people here at home, I'd have to say meeting Kevin was the highlight of my year. A doctor from Singapore here on a 2-year fellowship, he was on our dragon boat team and we ended up becoming good friends...during the summer it wasn't uncommon to see him, Stan, Linh and I running around town. I'm sorry he'll be leaving for home soon, but happy to know him. There are a few other folks I've met here whom I'd like to know better, but so far that's been moving slowly...people seem a little too busy to be making new friends, I guess.

Stan and I enjoyed the year together, up to and including his return to DC over Christmas. We had a wonderful relationship as boyfriends which has gone through some changes with his move to Denver and grad school, but that hasn't stopped him from being one of the most important people in my life. I'm very proud of him...he knew what he wanted, he overcame early frustrations to get it, and he's made the shift from full-time worker to full-time student with more ease than I think he realizes. I treasure what we had this year and I treasure what we still have...despite the change in his life, some things won't change.

Linh is my other close friend who went through a big transition this year, as he finished his graduate work and entered the "real" world (fortunately, staying in DC). We knew each other within about 6 weeks of his starting grad school so I got to see that entire process and was really pleased with the growth I saw in him, academically and personally, over those 2 years. I had a feeling that once he left school and had a more normal life we'd have a chance for our already great friendship to grow, and indeed it has. This is one of those friendships that I think will endure no matter what happens in the future.

Since Stan's departure in August I've pretty much avoided dating. I realized that since August 2000 I've either been in a relationship or living with my ex in a weird sort of limbo (Adrian, by the way, moved into his own place in July, leaving me in sole possession of the condo). Having spent all that time with people I decided I needed to make sure I'm OK on my own, that I haven't fallen into that trap of needing to be in a relationship. It's been a bit rocky at times but I'm getting a better handle on who I am as an individual, which had gotten a bit fuzzy at times over the years. Frankly, at this point, I'm waiting to see if someone asks ME out, rather than the other way around.

It's been a year for travel, as every year is for me. While living in Singapore I visited Bangkok and Hong Kong, and stopped in Tokyo for a few days on the way home, my first time there. Stan and I visited San Francisco, New York, and Denver, in addition to our 3-day road trip when we moved him out there. Kevin and I got to go to New York for the US Open, and I also made a later visit there on my own. I also got in a quick trip to Chicago for an academic conference, and that was good, even though it was COLD!! (and I finally got to meet David C on that trip!) In September I managed a 3-week trip back to KL to see my friends there (hi William, David, Azhan, Eddie, Janvier, DanielHenry, Froggy, and all the boys and girls) (and hi Nase, who I finally met!), to Singapore for the same reason, to Hong Kong for exactly the same reason (and to see the Big Buddha and finally go up Victoria Peak), and to Bintan Island for a couple days on the beach with Ed and one more ASEAN stamp in my passport. After going with Stan to Denver in August I headed to Vancouver to check out that city and also see my uncle in Victoria. Good times, eh.

Fitness-wise things only got better this year. I continued to improve my race times, missing my goal of breaking 80 minutes in the 10-miler but still running faster (and missing my goal by mere seconds) while shaving 14 minutes off my previous best marathon time. I ran the Hong Kong Marathon in February (my third) and set a personal record in that, with Tony and Max meeting me at the Finish with cupcakes and a Cathay Pacific flight crew who thought it was the greatest thing that I'd flown in just for the race. The next month Stan and I ran an 8K race in DC, the first race he's ever run, and I was so proud of him for doing that. I later ran two 10-milers and capped off the year with the Marine Corps Marathon, where I absolutely ripped up my old record and set a new standard of performance for myself. Much of my success has been due, I think, to a big improvement in my overall fitness. I've kept up with my gym routines from Singapore and have seen continuing improvement in my body, so much so that I was excited to be photographed for a friend's swimsuit calendar with Linh (and yes, we look hot!). Still not where I want it to be, but definitely getting there.

My health is still good, knock on wood. After 2008's cancer scare I had to have a follow-up colonoscopy this summer, and it came back OK. In Canada I had a sudden kidney stone attack, something that's never happened to me before and it scared me because I didn't know what it was, but after a few hours in the emergency room and some good meds over the next two days, I was fine. A couple of friends and family members have had tragic health problems this year, and those have reinforced my desire to live life as fully as I can now, for you never know when this precious gift can be taken from you.

As I reflect on the year gone by, I don't see much that's new. I had some great times, some great experiences, but mostly they came from the continuation of things I was already doing, or maybe some improvements...nothing really new. I can't think of too many new challenges that I took on, not much new that I studied and learned. That's unusual for me, and I'm not really sure why that happened. Did I just need a rest from change at the end of the decade? Do I have so many great things in my life that I didn't feel the need to add a lot of new stuff? I'm not sure. I guess it's OK, since part of the reason for not doing some new things I expected was the dramatic shift in career plans this year, but if I had to put my finger on what 2009 meant to me, it's kind of elusive. Next year, I have some new things lined up, and some emerging interests I want to explore...we'll see where those go!

When I look back at last year's end of the year post, I realize there are a couple things i said I hoped to do in 2009 that I didn't accomplish. First, I wanted to get back to Hawaii this year, but that didn't happen. I was planning to go in December to run the Honolulu Marathon and then stay for a vacation, but I realized a few things. First, I knew that I needed to save my legs rather than running a race only 7 weeks after the Marine Corps Marathon (a lesson I learned last year). Plus, I should save my money and my vacation days...one reason for not going was because of the big trip to Asia in September and I should be saving up after that for some travel coming early next year. And finally, I wasn't really in the mood to travel alone on this one...Linh had mentioned in July the possibility of going out there with me, but like me he had some big travel later in the year that didn't allow for a Hawaiian vacation in December. So, that one's on hold. I also didn't go to Thailand for massage school or kickboxing camp, mostly because I couldn't fit it into the September trip. But I'm planning to be back there in March and have already registered with the massage school (after seeing kickboxing in Bangkok last January I realized I probably don't need to go to kickboxing camp!). The other thing I wanted to do but don't feel I did was work on strengthening some friendships here, but I think I'll save that discussion for another time.

And yes, I'm looking forward to the future as well...to things I have planned for next year, to things I would like to do in the next year, and to things I still need to do at some point in my life. But I'll cover those next time.

For now, I'll just wish everyone a Happy New Year!!!!!

Labels: Friends, Health, Life, Living in SG, Running, Teaching, Travel

As DanielHenry pointed out to me on Facebook, it's not like I won't be back. But when it comes to living in Singapore, this is in fact my last weekend.

I gave my final exam last Monday and it went OK. I only got my research paper grades turned in that day so I decided not to grade exams but instead take the afternoon off from grading and resolve some other administrative things. Grading kicked off Tuesday and lasted until Thursday evening, so it did go faster than the research papers but not by much.

As Friday rolled around I went into school for my final day there. That morning I wrapped up the last of my paperwork for grades, turned in my keys, took some final photos, and headed out around 1pm. My experience at the university was really a great one, and the feedback I got from students (except for the one who was crying about her grade) made me feel really good. It's not often in life that you KNOW you made a difference, but this is one of those times.

I'd already had one farewell dinner earlier in the week, but heading into my last weekend I had a few more final meetups planned. First, though, I needed to have dinner with one of my students...I wouldn't normally spend my last Friday in town at a dinner like that but he's a diplomat here and I figured it was good for keeping up good relations between our countries. Plus, he was one of my more interesting and challenging students and I thought we'd have some good conversation, and I was right. I figured I'd head out for a drink afterwards but I drifted into a nap onto my couch after getting home and woke at 1am. I took that as a sign and went to bed.

Saturday was a gym day, followed by lunch and a movie with Derek. I said it last week and will say it again: I'm really happy to have finally gotten to know Derek in person after following his life for years online. We expect to see each other when I visit here again later this year.

Afterwards I met up with Ed, who took me to the Night Safari. After 3 times in Singapore I still hadn't been so he wanted to make sure I experienced it. Unfortunately it was raining, so the shows were cancelled, but we got to take the tram ride and see plenty of animal who were out enjoying the rain, and once the rain died down a bit we also walked some trails, and did not get eaten. We headed back to town, dozing in the back of a taxi, and grabbed some nasi lemak before heading to DYMK for a bit to meet some friends. I called it a night about 1.

Today I met up with Jasen for breakfast around 10:30 and we got caught up on what's been happening since we saw each other 2 weeks ago, and had a chance to say our farewells. A second friend cancelled out on me so I got some work done before meeting gary the Bubble Tea Guy, who's been running the stand at school that I visit everyday. This was the first time we hung out away from the university and it was pretty fun, even though the sudden rain made things a bit messy.

Tonight I'm out to dinner with my trainer from the gym, then am hoping to go clubbing later (though if the rain doesn't stop I don't know how excited I'll be about going out again). Starting tomorrow I need to be settling things around town, visiting with more friends, and doing anything I have been meaning to do but haven't done yet.

I'm also learning that Chinese people don't like long goodbyes, and I'm OK with that.

Labels: Bars, Friends, Living in SG, Teaching

Had a nice weekend after my final day of classes, even though I still had a few research papers to grade (I am convinced that grading final exams next week will go MUCH faster). Friday night I met up with my friend Ed for dinner and then we later headed out to a pub with some of his friends. I like being around Ed and his friends...when they are together there's a lot of laughter within the group and from anyone who happens to pass by and get caught up in the conversation. Also, they don't all start speaking in Chinese around me, and I appreciate that. In terms of pubs, they spend more time at a place called DYMK than at Tantric or the other pubs, which tend to be louder and more crowded. DYMK is a nice little place, a bit more mellow, and I like it.

Saturday was gym day, though it was shortened a bit because I tried to grade a couple papers first. Afterwards I met up with Derek and his friend James for lunch and off we went to the food court, which is a very different (and much more yummy) experience here than back home. We went to see Slumdog Millionaire, which is really good, if a bit shocking and unnerving at times. Well acted, great production style, but it made me a little uncomfortable at times. I guess good filmmaking should do that.

Derek had to head into work afterwards so I had a coffee with James and a couple of his friends, then wandered home myself to knock out some more papers before going dancing, so I could enjoy my time out more. As it turned out I still didn't get all of them done...it takes longer than you'd think to grade papers like this, and I try not to let one student's paper influence my opinion of the next, so there I need to take a few minutes in between...everyone gets judged on their own merits.

(I should point out that I really, really like Derek, and am SO HAPPY we finally met after reading each other's blogs for years. I always found it strange that I met his best friends a year before I met him, but I'm glad we finally met and are getting to spend some time together.)

But I did make it out and got to Play a little after midnight. I had a good time there for a couple hours, heading home around 2:30. James was there but I didn't see him until late because his phone battery had died, which is almost unheard of here (or so I've been told). By the time I saw him he was pretty drunk and I'm not sure he even realized I was there. heh heh There were some cuties on the dance floor, and one non-cutie who kept trying to get me to come off the dance floor and hang out with him, but he was drunk and I was having a good time dancing and he hurt my finger and so I finally managed to get rid of him.

Had plans for lunch today but they fell through so I finished grading and did some reading for school, and tonight am off to a foam party. I probably won't be providing too many details about that.

Final exam is Monday. Hope my students are studying.

Labels: Bars, Friends, Living in SG, Teaching

In case you haven't heard me say it 50,000 times before, I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really do not enjoy grading papers. Other than that, teaching rocks.

Labels: Teaching

Like many people I like to take time at the end of the year to look forward to what comes next, even though I shy away from making resolutions and instead try to make plans But also like most people I like to reflect on the year gone by, focusing on the good stuff but remembering, too, the bad.

The area of relationships includes both good and bad aspects. On the downside, I realized near the beginning of the year that, despite a year of resolving to work on our problems and trying to come back together, Adrian and I just couldn't seem to work things out. There's no need to get into details here, it just seemed we both had different ideas about what it would take to restart our relationship. Sadly, we had been moving in different directions, though fortunately we have been able to remain friends (a good thing, seeing as we still live together in the condo we co-own). He has been dating someone since this summer and I'm happy for him.

On the upside, however, things took a nice turn with Stan. We met at a Halloween party in 2007 and had been getting to know each other over time. In February, when he changed jobs and got a more normal schedule, we had more time to hang out and over a few months seemed to develop into "best friends." That development continued and by the time July came around we added "dating" to our description, and the word "boyfriends" entered our vocabulary this fall. So yes, I have a very nice boyfriend, and I'm very happy about that.

That has made my current work situation a little bittersweet. One of the most unique aspects of this year has been my (temporary) return to teaching. I learned at the end of April that I'd been selected for a prestigious academic exchange program. As a result I now live in Singapore, from November 2008 to March 2009, teaching a graduate school course at a major university here. It's fun, as I love teaching and I've always been interested in living in Asia, so this is great and I'm having a blast. It sucks to leave a boyfriend behind for 4 months, but fortunately he saved up his vacation time and we used a frequent flyer ticket to bring him over for 12 days, so YAY for us having an Asian adventure!!

I'm enjoying my time in Singapore and really feel like I'm fitting into the local landscape. I have some nice friends here and am very happy about that. There are still other people I want to meet, people I've known online for a long time, but I'm having trouble organizing my time well. Since I'm about halfway through my time here, I need to do better with that. I'm going to the gym regularly here and have a trainer and am feeling much better about my body, in terms of both health and appearance.

My time in Singapore has created some opportunties for travel. A couple weeks ago I was in Saigon for the first time and I just returned from a trip to Penang with Stan, my first time there as well. I'm hoping to get to Thailand for a weekend and will also be spending a weekend in Hong Kong in February, followed by four days in Tokyo on my way home in March.

There has been a LOT of travel this year. I worked in a couple trips to New York, both on my own and with Stan, and one of those was a quick hop up to see a play with just an overnight stay (I almost went without staying overnight but realized I needed at least one night in the city). I got reintroduced to Don't Tell Mama and The Web and visited a few other nice restaurants and bars, and much fun was had each time.

Short, domestic trips for work included a weekend in Atlanta and a weekend in Portland, my first time there. I got to see one of my old students, who has turned into a much more mature and interesting young man than he was when I first knew him in Colorado (and he was pretty mature and interesting even then!). Later I spent a few days in San Francisco for an academic conference where I got to see an old friend from SF and also see my friends Carol and Giacomo, who were teaching there at the time. I didn't make it to Hawaii for work this year, which is unusual, but I'm determined to make it there next year, for vacation if nothing else. This was also my first year at Gay Disney in Orlando at the end of May, which was a pretty fun weekend with friends. Not sure if I'll do it again, and if I do it may be a bit different, but it was a fun weekend for sure.

The big trip this year was to Southeast Asia, where I spent 3 weeks for work in Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, and Singapore, with a couple days' stop up in Hong Kong on the way home. In Bangkok I saw Bom for the first time in a couple years, and also had an adventure with Linh from DC, who was there on an internship. In KL I got to spend time with my blogger friends and finally met DanielHenry and got the chance to know David better, and also got to spend some good times with Eddie (and introduce him to the bloggers!) and William, Alex, and Jason as well. The trip was long, and I was ready to get home when it was over. Other than New York and Rehoboth Beach, that was pretty much it for travel until heading to Singapore in November.

One reason I neeeded to get home was the running. I was training for a big race and needed to get into my routine by early July, and once I did I worked my ass off. After some friends ran the Marine Corps Marathon in 2007 they convinced me I should give it a try in 2008, so I committed myself to doing that. I only started running in January (before that, 30 minutes on the elliptical machine was my aerobic workout). By March I ran my first race, a five-miler, and in April I ran the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler, a big race in DC. But I managed to injure my knee and couldn't run for a few weeks, and then my Asia trip came up, so I didn't really start marathon training until July. I was running 3 times per week and mostly designed my own training schedule, with encouragement from Ethan and Vu. I got myself ready for the Army 10-Miler in early October and knocked more than 8 minutes off my previous 10-mile time. 3 weeks later came the Marathon, and I kicked its ass. I was thrilled that I ran the whole way, never slowing down to a walk, and I finished in what I thought was a pretty decent time for a first-timer. It was an amazing feeling to do that, especially going from not running at all to running a marathon in only 10 months. To the surprise of everyone, not the least of whom me, six weeks later I ran the Singapore Marathon, and while my time was slower, I still finished ahead of 79% of the runners, so not too bad. I'm kinda proud of myself for setting this goal and achieving it. Physical fitness has never been my strength (pun intended) so I'm very happy this all went so well.

My other physical activity was dragon boating, which I totally got into. After rowing with AQUA in the DC festival back in May I have given some thought to joining DC's dragonboat team but I'm not sure I can make the time committment right now. I've enjoyed watching dragonboating in Singapore (for all the obvious reasons) and would like to hook up with a team here, just to learn some things from them, but I'm kinda out of time in my daily schedule, so we'll see how that works out.

Thanks to all that physical activity I felt comfortable doing some modeling this year. I got to be a part of Vu's calender (last year it was al Asian men, this year it was pairs of folks) and that was fun. I also did two sessions for a professional who was looking for models, one by myself and one with a second person. That was a lot of fun, I got to exlore some interesting ideas and also learned to feel comfortable in front of a camera -- I'm not the most photogenic person in the world, so that was a nice experience.

This has been a good year for friends. In addition to gettig to know Stan better early in the year I also found my friendship with Ethan strengthening, and that has been nice. Linh and I also bonded a bit, and we may have the Spice Girls to thank for that. I formally joined AQUA in January, as one of the "token white guys," heh heh heh. Along the way I've gotten to know a couple new folks and have seen my friendships with others develop over the year. There have been some fun parties, some trips, but to be honest I'm still trying to find the solid ground underneath my relationships in DC. The situation with Adrian and I has, I think, made other relationships a bit unstable, simply because our lives have been so uncertain. Overseas, I finally got the chance to meet Azhan, whom I've known online for a couple years, as well as Derek in Singapore whom I've also known online for a long time, and I've added Jasen, Alan, Joshua, and KK to the "good friends" list as well.

I've barely mentioned "work" in any of this, and that's because work in DC is just not an important part of my life right now. I do it, and I do it well, but it bores me. My bosses have no idea what to do with me and cannot figure out how to use my skills, so my days at the office seem filled with tasks that really don't matter. That's partly why I applied for the exchange program, and that's partly why I did a research project for another agency (that's who sent me on the 3-week Asia trip this summer). I wish they wanted to use me, but they don't, so I look for other opportunties to be useful and to develop my own skills, and I spend a lot of time planning my exit from this career next year.

My concerns about wasting time in this job became very important this summer when I had a health scare. During a physical exam the doctor told me that I had symptoms of colon cancer. A long three weeks later I finally had a colonoscopy and the results were negative for cancer. That's good, and it also reminded me that things can happen and life can end suddenly, so it's best to get the most out of it now rather than waiting for a day that may never come. I emerged from that experience content with my life, realizing that while there are many things I still WANT to do, I think I have done most if not all of the things I HAVE to do in my life. It's comforting to feel I have not wasted my time on this earth.

One new "work" experience this year has been a professional blog I started. I'm not sure what sparked my interest but I began writing a blog that, if done right, can later be turned into a book and developed into a university course. It was a bit "stop and go" as I started it this spring but by the summer knew I hadn't done it quite right. I stoped, retooled it over a couple months,then restarted it in the fall. It doesn't have a lot of readers but it does give me a chance to express myself, so we'll see where it goes.

It has been an amazing year, full of changes good and bad. I look forward to 2009. What will happen then? Well, there will be a major career change late in the year, and once that happens I'll be a bit more open about some things on this website. I'm going to continue running, and in additon to the races I ran this year (except the Singapore Marathon, I think) I'm planning a couple additional ones. I'm also going to continue the gym routines and the nutrition plans I've been working on in Singapore, so I can finally feel healthy and good about my body. Stan is leaving DC for grad school at the end of the summer, and that will create a hole in my life. I'm going to work harder on my DC friendships, and perhaps cut back on the travel a bit so I can focus more on home. Having said that, I still plan a trip to Vancouver, and at least one trip to San Francisco, and there's a good chance I'll have an extended stay back in Thailand, perhaps for 3 weeks in September to go to massage school and kickboxing camp. Hey, why not? My business blog has been picked up as a column for a newspaper so I'll be writing that this year, and I look forward to doing more with the blog itself.

All in all, a very good year. 2008 reminded me that I'm one of the luckiest people on Earth, with good friends, lots of opportunities for adventures, and interesting career possibilities that are pretty much within my own control rather than someone else's. My goal when moving to DC in 2006 was to use this time to set myself up for all the fascinating things that are set to occur for me in 2009. Despite the ups and downs along the way and the interesting (and usually good) changes to my plans, I think I've succeeded in that. 2008 was good, and I'm ready for 2009.

Bring it on.

Labels: Friends, Health, Living in SG, Relationships, Running, Teaching, Travel, Web, Work

I've been a blog slacker. So spank me.

Last Friday's first day of class went pretty well. I had over 20 students show up, which wasn't bad since the original class list showed only 13. The students have 2 weeks to add and drop courses so many of them were coming to check this out.

Earlier in the week a student had come by to chat with me about the course. It seems people were wondering about it and nobody knew anything about me, so he was basically elected to come find out my background and report back. Apparently my bio never made it onto the school's website. I subsequently added it to the class website.

So yeah, I got a big crowd, and though I lost a few during breaks in the class I still had a bunch when we were done. They are quite a mix...I'm not the oldest one in the room, that honor goes to a guy from Pakistan. I also have a Saudi, four or five Filipinos, two Indonesians, a Sri Lankan, a Canadian (thank goodness, at least one more Western perspective), a Chinese guy, quite a few Malaysians, and of course some Singaporeans, including 2 lawyers, so of course that will be fun.

Since then I've talked with with a few students and it seems like many are planning to stick with it. As one guy told me, "you're more entertaining than our other professors." Not exactly the scholarly praise I was hoping for, but I guess I'll take it.

They got engaged in the class, which was good, but I'm going to need to watch a couple of the guys near the front who want to talk a little too much. Perhaps I'll move around the room more and get to the folks in the back. I didn't cover everything I wanted, which is not unusual for me, so I'll need to watch my time management.

A couple guys came to talk to me today and said a lot of people are concerned that the class seems more demanding than many others. Most professors seem to just want them to memorize and then replicate on the exams. As one guy put it, "we Singaporeans are practical...we just want to do what it takes to complete the course." While I tried to be sympathetic, I also pointed out that if Singapore wants to compete in the world with countries like, you know, the US, Canada, Britain, France, then maybe, just maybe, the time has come to get rid of the "just do enough" mentality. When he told me that, I pretty much lost my concern for him, and to be honest, if he chooses not to stay in the course, that's probably OK.

That afternoon the school held a panel discussion on the US elections the previous week and i was pretty much the featured expert, which was an intriguing role, and it also provided most of the faculty their first look at me. And there were reporters there. But hey, no pressure, right? Anyway, it seemed to go well, and I demonstrated I'm willing to give a straight answer to a straight question, which means folks would do well to dispense with their rhetoric and really focus on facts if they wan to have a meaningful discussion with me. Yeah.

Labels: Teaching

I got some very good news about my professional life back in early may. I kept it quiet for a while because I wanted to share the news with some people in person (though a few did manage to drag the secret out of me online because it was just too good to keep). While on my Asia trip I did get to share the news with some, and now that the folks I needed to tell directly are al up to speed, I can share it with anyone in the world who hasn't heard yet.

While teaching a few years ago I thought about applying for a prestigious educational exchange program and was looking into going to Thailand for a semester. That didn't work out because I ended up going to Iraq to help fix things (and we see how well THAT turned out) and I didn't think I should leave school for another semester. Anyway, last November I was surfing around and saw an opportunity for the exchange program again and decided to apply.

And this time, I got it.

As a result, I will go to Singapore for 4 months later this year to teach a graduate school course. I have talked to my "real world" and online friends there and they are excited as, of course, am I. I've never lived in another country (Iraq doesn't count) and I'm thrilled about the chance to have a normal day-to-day life in a new environment. I'm also very excited to get back to teaching again.

The details are still a little up in the air...while most of my teaching stuff is settled, things like where I'm going to live are still being worked out. While there is an opportunity to live at the university, the housing situation is not quite what I had in mind, so I may use my grant money to get a place on my own and a little closer to the fun parts of the city.

Sorry for being a little vague about where I'll be and what program and all that, but I still have to maintain SOME anonymity on this blog.

But anyway, this is an amazing opportunity, both professionally and personally, so YAY ME!!!!

And more importantly, yay to Ethan for believing in me and encouraging me to apply.

Labels: Teaching, Travel

I am heading to Portland, Oregon, for a quick business trip. I have a meeting all day Saturday and will come home Sunday. I feel like I will spend more time on airplanes than i will spend awake in Portland.

This is my first time there and I'm excited to visit. Also, one of my former students -- who left our school in Colorado and transferred to a university in Portland -- is going to hang out with me. We've been talking online the last few months and it sounds like he's doing well -- I'm excited to see him and get to know him outside the classroom!

Stan came over last night for dinner and Lost. Then there was a new episode of South Park. We were going to follow that with a movie I'd gotten but Stan, being the mature one, said he should probably go home and let me go to bed, seeing as I had to get up at 5am to fly out. I'm glad he did, I kinda needed the sleep!

Labels: Teaching, Travel, Work

Yesterday I went back to the University of Virginia to present a guest lecture in a class. I went to UVA for my undergraduate education, of course, so going back there to teach -- even for just an hour -- is a big deal. UVA was the defining place in my life, an experience that created a new "me" and set me on the path to the great life I've enjoyed these last 20 years. Also, I did not have the best grades there, so teaching something is, shall we say, a little ironic.

I gave a class on combating terrorism. One interesting part of this is that the last time I spoke at UVA was back in November 2001, on the same topic. The 9/11 attacks had happened only a couple months earlier and my presentation focused on the likely US response. I had a chance last week to go back through my notes from that discussion and see which of the things i predicted came true and which ones I missed. Hmmmm, invasion of Iraq...didn't see THAT one coming.

It's kind of cool to go back and be welcomed by the students as something of a University success story, even though many of my classmates have done far greater things than I. I like that because, where I used to teach in Colorado, returning alumni were often met with a "so what?" attitude from the students. Here, they made me feel like I still belonged, and they looked up to me. And that was nice.

Adrian was in town that day, he is on a driving tour of the South this week, so we had lunch at a restaurant just outside the University grounds (Adrian is a graduate as well). It was a little disturbing to hear the "oldies" radio station in the restaurant playing music from my college years. Then again, maybe it wasn't an "oldies" station, maybe it just played music from the 80s. Because I'm still a little too young to have my music referred to as "oldies."

Labels: Teaching

As with all years past I'll take today to kind of wrap up there last 365 days. It's been a wild ride of a year...things I expected got shifted around, things I totally didn't expect popped up, and all in all one of the best things I can say about the year is that no one shot directly at me. Though the year isn't over for about another 8 hours, so we'll see.

There are some things I mentioned last December that I was going to do that, unfortunately, didn't get done. I was planning to upload all my journal archives from before the big Diary-X crash, but the external hard drive where they're stored has crapped out on me and I can't get them off of it. I need to buy another drive and have someone go in and get the data off the bad one to transfer to the new one, but so far I've been lazy and haven't done that. Another thing I'd hoped to do was work on my dissertation, finally turning it into a book I can publish. I think there are some good ideas in there (and someone must agree...my dissertation spends a lot of time checked out of the two libraries where it resides) and I need to get it out into a more mainstream forum before time passes me by. I got going on it in earnest toward the end of the year at work but then some other things came up that took precedence. However, I've got a schedule for finishing it and I guess I can just bump the schedule a couple months and get back on it, and then I'll be fine.

Some totally unexpected things came up this year and I guess I should expect the same in 2008. The biggest was that I went to Afghanistan for 2 months, in June and July, to train the faculty at a military school. This was my second war (though, unlike Iraq where I got shot at every day, this time I only heard gunfire but never had it directed at me) and I think I'm done with the whole "war" thing. Of course, I thought that after Iraq, too. My time there was interesting and I felt I did some good, so even though there were some hardships there, at least it was rewarding. I have to say, though, that it hardened my resolve to get far away from the government when I leave my job in 2009.

My job has been a big let down in some ways this year, though I have tried to find an upside. I realized by the end of last year that I wouldn't be doing the work I signed on to do. Since then I've found I don't have much to do at all...we are overstaffed in my office, and my boss has no concept of "leadership" so I haven't really been given a clearly defined job to do. I've been taking on tasks as they come in, which is not really my strength (I'm best at the "long range" stuff) so I've been bored. That, in fact, is a big reason I volunteered for Afghanistan. I talked over the problem with my bosses when I left, but in the 5 months since I returned, nothing much has changed. Rather than complaining to them about it, I looked around for a position in another agency, but finally decided instead to take advantage of the free time I have at work to work on projects for other organizations and also start doing some serious planning for my post-government future. I also managed to publish a chapter in a book about the war in Iraq, so that's cool.

That planning, which I talked about at the end of last year, has moved forward. 2007 was my year to figure out what I want to do next, 2008 is my year to get things in place for the transition, and 2009 is the year it all comes together. So far this year I've developed a number of job plans and looked at the costs and benefits of all of them, trying to come up with the best option. I have a pretty good business plan laid out for my own consulting firm, and I'm also looking into teaching possibilities in the DC area. I still have some things to learn about, like marketing and such, but overall I have a decent idea and I want to start making it happen next year, testing the waters a bit. My goals are to have interesting work taking advantage of skills and knowledge I have, a flexible schedule, travel, and good money. While I'm wishing, I'd also like a pony. But hey, if you don't try, you can never succeed.

The one advantage of work this year has been the opportunity for travel. I've been to Hawaii twice, once for work and once for a combination of work and vacation. I've visited San Francisco twice, as well as Dallas and Tampa, and a trip to Atlanta which was very short and pretty boring. I also made it to Chicago, where I gave a paper but also got out of the hotel, which I don't often do on business trips to that city. Adrian and I also took a non-work trip to Puerto Rico for a long weekend last spring, and we met friends in New York back in February, while I also had a solo trip there in October. The big trip for me, of course, was to Asia in September, partially funded by work but also using the 10 vacation days I still had to use by the first of October. That. Was. Amazing. I got a day in Bangkok, though Bom had to go out of town and I wasn't able to see him. It was my first visit to Vietnam, and I got to spend a few days in Hanoi. Then I was off to Kuala Lumpur for 5 days, which was so much fun I still smile when I think of it. Afterwards I had 3 days in Hong Kong, which was a great time, then I headed back home and went to work the following day. Needless to say, I was a tired pup for a week. A planned trip to the Philippines for work got called off, though I hope to go in the coming year. I also am planning to get back to Singapore and Malaysia this year -- I got a research grant for a policy study and need to do some interviews in both countries. I'll probably add some Bangkok and Hong Kong time to that trip. And there are some other professional possibilities that might take me back to the region next year, though if that doesn't work out, I'll probably take a vacation over there.

As always, the best part of traveling is seeing old friends and meeting new ones. January's trip to Dallas led me to meet Ken from Bangkok who's now in Miami...a completely random meetup in a club, neither of us realizing the other was in town, and never having met before...how weird is that? In March I met Paulo while dancing in San Francisco, and in November we got to meet up again and go to dinner and get to know each other more than a dance floor with loud music allows. My time in Afghanistan allowed me to meet some professional colleagues who are pretty cool, so that was nice. After returning I saw I'd gotten e-mails from a couple folks on Fridae and after chatting with them I later got to meet them, so yay for meeting Eddie in Malaysia (who has tuned into a very special friend, someone who has captured his own place in my heart) and later Tony in Hong Kong. Also in HK I got to meet Eric, whom I've known over a year online but hadn't met yet. Of course, the big group meetup was in Kuala Lumpur, where I got to meet David, Frankie, Sam, Daniel, Paul, Alex, Jason, Jason Jr, Janvier, Cheryl, Thaddes, and Adrien. And of course, there was William...if you ask me why two people form a a strong emotional connection, I couldn't say, but if you ask me if it exists, I'd say YES! Can't explain it but I feel a special bond to William, and I think it's more than just the name thing. heh heh And no, it's not a physical thing, so the skanks among you can quit worrying about that. The last trip of the year, to Honolulu, led me to meet Kester, who is also friends with a couple people I know in Singapore...small world! And of course, October's trip to NYC led me to meet Paul, a very special guy who e-mailed me pretty much every day I was in Afghanistan, which helped...another "Fridae friend" who has tuned into a very cool real world friend. I also had the pleasure of meeting Joel on that trip, who is as funny and insightful in real life as he is on his blog that I've read for over a year.

This was also a year for new friends right here at home. Danny and I have finally gotten to know each other after a brief meeting in 2006. I met Vu and Troy and have gravitated into their circle of friends. Dan from Baltimore is another great guy I've gotten to know. And of course, Linh and I met late in the year and already I feel a strong friendship growing. I'm a lucky man.

Some of my existing friendships grew stronger this year. Ethan and I have gotten closer...the fact that we now work 2 blocks from each other makes it easier to get together during the week, and that's very cool. I got to meet up with Fritz a few times this year, both here and in Hawaii. Justin and I have gotten to know each other better as well. I didn't get to see Allan in Singapore this year, which is a real shame 'cuz I miss him, but I'll see him in the new year. Same with Bom. A few of my friends have had a rough time of it...one suffered a loss midway through the year, other friends have had serious problems in their relationships...but I think everyone is strong enough to bounce back from these and move forward.

It's been important to me to meet new friends and reconnect with old ones. Friends have always been the most important thing to me, and I've lost a part of that. It's time to reclaim them, reclaim that fun, and I'm glad I am. I think finally getting active on Facebook has helped. heh heh

As for me? I'm doing well, I think. I got serious about taking care of myself earlier in the year and managed to lose 20 pounds while adding muscle...much of that came from being in Afghanistan, with body armor all the time and nothing to do but work out after finishing my job, and of course I don't recommend that for everyone. I'm pleased I've been able to stay in good shape, though I have faltered during the holidays and will get back into my routine this week. After a few years of some serious body issues I'm actually happy with how I look now and am determined to maintain it for both health and looks. I'm also registered to run in two races next spring. In the last year I've explored some new interests, done a bit of new reading, and made goals for myself that I've later achieved, so that's all good. I may not be thrilled about everything in my life...and I may be a very different person from my normal self...but I think I'm in a good place right now.

The reason I'm a different person, and the reason I'm not totally content with where I am in life, is simple: Adrian and I. At the end of last year he said he wanted to work on things and try to get back together, but it's been a roller-coaster year as far as that goes. I've been up a few times but down most of the time, and that's why I tell many of my new friends "I wish you'd met me before all this because I'm really a much better person than I seem right now." The situation has been so confusing, and so complicated...I think most friends have given up trying to understand it, which is OK since I don't understand it myself. After 16 months of being depressed about it one thing is clear: it needs to get resolved, and soon, so my life can move forward again.

But we have still had some fun...a couple parties at the condo, the trips to Puerto Rico and Hawaii. When I look at the balance sheet for the year, I have to say it comes out with a profit rather than a loss. And I have next year to look forward to: getting ready for my post-government career, maybe doing some teaching, possible finishing writing one book and starting another (need to get to work on those). I also intend to meet some online friends: DanielHenry in KL, Harper and Luke Elijah in Singapore, Huy in Australia, and of course, Azhan in Malaysia (I'll try to sneak you-know-who into my suitcase for you!). I also plan to finally meet derek in Singapore...so strange that I've met his friends and his boyfriend but haven't actually met him yet. I expect to spend some more time in New York, hanging out with Scooter and getting to know Paul better. I'm hoping to see Kester again in Honolulu, and visit some new places: Taiwan, maybe, or Vancouver. I'm scheduled to go to Portland for work, and San Francisco too...that should be fun. I have tickets to see My Fair Lady at the Kennedy Center (thank you Adrian!) and the Spice Girls with Linh. I want to see my KL brothers again. I need to spend some time with Eddie in Malaysia and get Allan to slow down long enough for a hug or two or twelve. I hope to see Bom again and will visit Thailand simply for that reason. I would like my friendships here to grow stronger...I want people to know I'm not always such a mess, I'm actually someone they can count on. The bottom line is, I want to be happier, and I want to make everyone around me happier.

But isn't that what all of us want?

Happy New Year, everybody.

Labels: Friends, Life, Questions, Relationships, Teaching, Travel, Wandering Mind, Work

I found my time in Afghanistan to be a pretty worthwhile experience, on the whole. I was there to spend two months with the social science faculty at a fairly new university. They already have courses up and running, so I wasn't really there to help with the curriculum. Instead I was teaching them how to teach, which was harder than it sounds. The younger faculty members were mostly recent college grads (a bachelor's degree was typically all they had) with no teaching experience, while the older instructors grew up in Soviet-style and Taliban-era educational systems. As is often the case, the younger guys have the motivation to change things for the better, while the older guys -- who are in charge -- are afraid of change and try to block new ideas. I pointed out that maybe the Soviet and Taliban systems weren't that good, seeing as the Soviet Union doesn't exist anymore and the Taliban were bastards. But yeah, I had my work cut out for me.

My goal wasn't to get them to teach American-style, but instead, get them to find an "Afghan style" that was right for them. We needed to find techniques that took into account the poor elementary and high school educations the students had, the relatively low level of education the instructors had, the expectations they have for graduates, and of course, the stresses of an ongoing war. So yeah, the teaching styles of the University of Virginia probably wouldn't work so well.

The work was interesting. I spent a lot of time observing classes and working one-on-one with the instructors. I taught a few seminars for the department and also taught a few economics and international relations classes. I was happy to see some of the instructors using the techniques we talked about, adapting them to their own needs. I also "adopted" one particular class of juniors and kept going back there. They were really bright and asked a lot of very insightful questions about US policies...I wish my students at my old university would have seemed so interested. They have some odd views of how things work in the world but at least they're open minded enough to ask questions and learn.

So, yeah, the work was good. And I noticed a big difference between this experience and my time in Iraq a couple years ago. In Iraq I worked at the Embassy and when i left I only said goodbye to Americans and other coalition partners...no Iraqis. But this time around, when I left I was saying goodbye to Afghans, and not so many Americans. Yeah, this was very different.

That was the upside. But I found a downside to Afghan culture. This sounds demeaning, but they seem like children. Children who want you to give them things, who act grown up when they aren't, who are capable of violence without realizing the effects of it, who want authority without responsibility. This is not a good thing. This country has been at war of one sort or another for 30 years and it cannot continue...we saw what happened the last time it descended into a totally failed state, and as one instructor told me, "you need us, you cannot afford to walk away again." Unfortunately, I think he's right. But I feel like they'll say what they think we want to hear, then as soon as we are gone, move on their own way. Which is fine, until their way doesn't work and they come back to us to fix it.

The younger generation has the desire to do great things and the passion -- for the moment -- to make positive changes. But many are getting frustrated and trying to leave the country. The brain drain is incredible, and the government is taking steps to slow it, but these steps are reducing the chance for overseas training. I hope some of them will stay and fight through the frustration, taking the baby steps that are needed to move the country forward.

The Dean told me they cannot measure themselves against the US, they must measure themselves against their neighbors. Good call. Unfortunately, we seem to be pushing them toward a US standard, all in the name of "setting the bar high so they have something to reach for." Considering how many people are living in mud huts without running water, we may need to rethink that strategy.

Labels: Teaching, Work

I've been helping my friend Eric with his master's thesis the last couple weeks. He's from Japan and is working on his M.A. in International Affairs. Anyway, he learned English really well just a couple years ago, but learned to speak it more than to write it. He speaks it very well but his writing was a little shaky so two weeks ago he called in a bit of a panic because a draft was due to his professor but he knew the English was poor. I took a couple days to read it (it's about 40 pages long) then spent two evenings going through it word for word with him. After the second night we went to dinner with a friend of his and he called me "Sensei," which I thought was incredibly cool. Then again, I tend to be impressed by the smaller things in life more than the bigger things.

He went on and made all the changes and we got together last night for one more read-through, just to make all the final fixes before he turns in the completed version this week. he has thanked me profusely, and even brought back a couple cute little gifts from his job interview trip to San Francisco last week, but hey, if he keeps calling me Sensei he doesn't have to thank me at all, 'cuz for whatever reason I really liked that.

Speaking of students, a couple weeks ago I forgot to mention that I met up with a very nice University of Texas professor and his charming partner and about a dozen of his students he'd brought to DC for a trip. He likes for them to meet political science degree holders who do something besides teach or go to law school so they can see they have other options. It was a very fun evening, in part because I really like students, and in part because some of them knew Karl-Thomas, who was a political science major there until he graduated in December. Small world.

Labels: Friends, Life, Teaching

I'll be in Afghanistan in June and July, so just two months, which is a lot better than my 4 months in Baghdad a couple years ago. I'll probably leave DC near the end of May and get back in early August because it takes a few days to get into and out of the country.

Basically, I will be mentoring the social science faculty at a school there...they have been in operation for a few years but need some help. The college in Colorado where I used to teach has teamed up with another US college to support this new Afghan school. My old college needed some help so I was asked if I'd be wiling to go during the summer. The subjects I'll be helping with are Economics, International Relations, and Government, though in this case it's Afghan Government, which means I should learn a little something about that.

This sounds like an opportunity to really do some good, and accomplish something that I can feel proud of. Education is the key to self governance, so maybe I can help this country just a little bit. I'm very excited, and sure, a little nervous, though at least I'll be better prepared for this than i was for Iraq. And it'll be good to get into a classroom again, though the language barrier will be a little trickier here than it was in Colorado, I think.

Labels: Life, Teaching, Travel