Friday, October 01, 2010
Ten Years
Ten years ago today I started keeping an online journal. We were just starting to call them "blogs" at that point, and this was before all the political and news and food blogs...it was when people were just writing about their lives.
I've met some absolutely amazing people through blogging. There's Scooter, of course, up in New York...we were reading each other's blogs for about a year, when he was an undergrad at McGill and I was a doctoral student at George Mason, before we met up in person when I flew to Canada to meet him. We're still good friends, and I'll be seeing him next month I hope.
It was through blogging that I first talked to someone in Singapore, and that opened the door to Southeast Asia for me. Years later I ended up living there for a few months while teaching, something that might have never happened were it not for blogging.
And of course, there are the KL boys. I started reading blogs by a few guys in Kuala Lumpur about 5 years ago, and in 2007 I had a chance to stop off there on a business trip. Oh my. Not only did it turn out that all these guys know each other, they also turned out to be a really amazing collection of people. Knowing them has enriched my life a lot.
There have been a couple serious bumps in my blogging life. The first came a few years ago, when DiaryX, my first host, crashed and took with it the parts of my life that hadn't been archived. That was a big blow, and though I've got some of those archives reposted here, not everything is up.
Another hit came last year, when my identity was compromised by a stalker. You see, when I started writing this I was in the military, so I had to keep my identity secret on here and only reveal it to people whom I know and trusted. But someone did enough searching around the internet to figure me out, which is why I'm now at my third address for the blog.
But the biggest blow came when Adrian, my partner for nearly 6 years, broke up with me in late 2006. I just didn't feel like sharing the horrible stuff going on in my life, and for a time that's all there was. Even when things got better, when I was dating Stan, when I met Linh, when I started running, it was hard to start writing again. I was carrying so much baggage and I just couldn't sit down and write about it.
Life has changed a lot for me in the last few months, and I think it's time to start writing again. I've made this attempt a few times in the last couple years, but it's been tough to follow through. I'm going to try again, though. One reason it's been hard has been Facebook; if I can post updates there, why blog? Linh suggested to me a few months ago that maybe Facebook could be my outlet for quick updates -- and I should try to keep those positive -- while I use my blog to really get into what's happening in my life and in my head, whether it's positive or negative.
So, to get things (re)started, here's the first entry from 10 years ago:
Sunday, October 01, 2000
October 2000
1 Oct 2000
And we're off!
OK. So. Ummmmmmmmmm. Hmm.
This is my journal. I guess.
So now what do I do?
I've never been able to keep a journal before, except for those times when I'm traveling and want to be able to look back on the trip later and remember it. Funny, you'd think I'd want to remember the events of this big trip called "life." But on the other hand, maybe it's nice to be able to forget every now and then.
Lately, though, I've found myself getting caught up in a couple journals, especially Chris M's. It's so cool to be able to share what's going on in his life. And there are a couple other folks, too, whom I've never met (or even talked to) whose lives are now an open book to me. This, to me (though not to some of the dinosaurs in my seminar on Social Capital) is a new form of relationship that broadens the old definition. It's a new way of making connections that is, frankly, pretty exciting. So I figured I'd add to the cacophony of online diaries. And since my website is designed in part to keep my friends all over the US up-to-date on my goings on, well, this can replace the old "News" page on my website.
But I'm hesitant. One reason I've avoided this is the role that other people play in my life. My friends are so important to me, so much a part of me, that they will invariably show up time and again here. Let's face it, a story of my life is a story of Andy, Tracy, River, Cory, Michael (all 6 of them!), and many, many others. Do I want (or do I have the right) to put our most intimate moments online for the world to see?
Well, of course I do. =)
But if I know they are likely to read this, will that temper what I write? Probably. That, however, will force me to look at the events in my life with a new outlook, and may impart some new wisdom to me. Or it may just be so frustrating that I shut the whole thing down in a week. We'll see.
OUR STORY THUS FAR
My name is William...Bill for short.
I'm 34, a grad student pursuing my PhD.
Washington, DC is home for me.
I'm dating a wonderful guy named River (who, sadly, is in Dallas for a month)
I love to travel.
I'm an eclectic Wiccan, practicing as a Solitare rather than part of a coven.
So now you know the basics.
Ready to take a wild ride with me?
Hang on. Here we go.
::LATER THAT SAME DAY::
If I ever turn into one of those guys in his 50s who just sits at the coffee house and stares at people, please kill me. Or give me a book to read. This guy at SoHo today was creeping me out. Every time I glanced up from my notebook he was staring at me or this one other guy. It makes me wonder what's going through his mind. Is he having a fantasy that involves me? Is he thinking, "I'll bet he has great feet and looks good in panties." Is he imagining the sound of my voice as I read Poe to him by candlelight? Or is he figuring out where to dump the body?
I love people-watching as much as the next guy (actually, more than the next guy) but c'mon, at least I'm a little more subtle so as not to scare anyone. He could at least smile; it's the seriousness on his face that terrifies me.
Why is it that when I'm at one end of P Street (down at 22nd, by SoHo or Badlands) I feel comfortable wearing very casual clothes, "hug a dolphin" t-shirts and the like, but then as soon as I cross DuPont Circle to the other end of P Street, I feel like I have to be wearing Gap? It's like two different worlds. I got the feeling I needed to change clothes in the Circle. I like to think that would've attracted a crowd.
River called while I was doing homework at SoHo. He was at a coffee house in Dallas called Crossroads. Afterwards, someone commented that I had a big smile on my face. Yeah. =)
And we're off!
OK. So. Ummmmmmmmmm. Hmm.
This is my journal. I guess.
So now what do I do?
I've never been able to keep a journal before, except for those times when I'm traveling and want to be able to look back on the trip later and remember it. Funny, you'd think I'd want to remember the events of this big trip called "life." But on the other hand, maybe it's nice to be able to forget every now and then.
Lately, though, I've found myself getting caught up in a couple journals, especially Chris M's. It's so cool to be able to share what's going on in his life. And there are a couple other folks, too, whom I've never met (or even talked to) whose lives are now an open book to me. This, to me (though not to some of the dinosaurs in my seminar on Social Capital) is a new form of relationship that broadens the old definition. It's a new way of making connections that is, frankly, pretty exciting. So I figured I'd add to the cacophony of online diaries. And since my website is designed in part to keep my friends all over the US up-to-date on my goings on, well, this can replace the old "News" page on my website.
But I'm hesitant. One reason I've avoided this is the role that other people play in my life. My friends are so important to me, so much a part of me, that they will invariably show up time and again here. Let's face it, a story of my life is a story of Andy, Tracy, River, Cory, Michael (all 6 of them!), and many, many others. Do I want (or do I have the right) to put our most intimate moments online for the world to see?
Well, of course I do. =)
But if I know they are likely to read this, will that temper what I write? Probably. That, however, will force me to look at the events in my life with a new outlook, and may impart some new wisdom to me. Or it may just be so frustrating that I shut the whole thing down in a week. We'll see.
OUR STORY THUS FAR
My name is William...Bill for short.
I'm 34, a grad student pursuing my PhD.
Washington, DC is home for me.
I'm dating a wonderful guy named River (who, sadly, is in Dallas for a month)
I love to travel.
I'm an eclectic Wiccan, practicing as a Solitare rather than part of a coven.
So now you know the basics.
Ready to take a wild ride with me?
Hang on. Here we go.
::LATER THAT SAME DAY::
If I ever turn into one of those guys in his 50s who just sits at the coffee house and stares at people, please kill me. Or give me a book to read. This guy at SoHo today was creeping me out. Every time I glanced up from my notebook he was staring at me or this one other guy. It makes me wonder what's going through his mind. Is he having a fantasy that involves me? Is he thinking, "I'll bet he has great feet and looks good in panties." Is he imagining the sound of my voice as I read Poe to him by candlelight? Or is he figuring out where to dump the body?
I love people-watching as much as the next guy (actually, more than the next guy) but c'mon, at least I'm a little more subtle so as not to scare anyone. He could at least smile; it's the seriousness on his face that terrifies me.
Why is it that when I'm at one end of P Street (down at 22nd, by SoHo or Badlands) I feel comfortable wearing very casual clothes, "hug a dolphin" t-shirts and the like, but then as soon as I cross DuPont Circle to the other end of P Street, I feel like I have to be wearing Gap? It's like two different worlds. I got the feeling I needed to change clothes in the Circle. I like to think that would've attracted a crowd.
River called while I was doing homework at SoHo. He was at a coffee house in Dallas called Crossroads. Afterwards, someone commented that I had a big smile on my face. Yeah. =)
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